When Mom ain’t happy….then no one is happy!
When Mom ain’t happy…no one is happy. We have all heard that saying and in actuality it has a lot of truth to it. If Moms are unhappy, then their families suffer. Moms that are stressed have less patience with their spouses and children and have less fun and engagement with their family. Families benefit when Mom feels good! So lose the guilt and do something for yourself….after all you are helping your family!
How do we do it?
A Mom who is out of balance probably has too much on her plate. There must be a balance between kids, work, and the home. Everyone needs 15 minutes a day of time alone. I am an early riser and that is my time for a few minutes of reflection before my day begins. Find out when you can fit those 15 minutes in your day to balance yourself. Then during that time, reflect on your day and decide your priorities and put some perspective to those priorities. Always ask yourself, “Is this a have to…and what would happen if I didn’t?” Suddenly your life will become a little more balanced by embracing what is most important during this particular season of your life. Remember, there is a time for everything in life. You can have it all, just not all at once!
2. Delegation without guilt.
Ask for help and then allow your kids and your spouse to help without guilt. Build chores into your child’s daily life, giving responsibility helps your child build self-confidence. Ask for help from your spouse and be happy with the help you receive! Remember you must ask not just wish for help! Give Dad a job to own, and let him do it his way! Moms who are “gatekeepers” for their baby discourage Dads from parenting. You don’t have to do it all….if you try everyone will be unhappy!
3. Carve out time creatively.
Moms can actually carve time out for themselves right in the middle of caring for their kids! You need to learn to be ready to grab those minutes here and there throughout the day. Bring that magazine or book and read it in carpool, or waiting for a sports practice to be over. Play a book on tape or music that YOU enjoy when you are running errands with the kids in the car. Build some exercise into your day when you take the kids to the park. Soak those feet in the tub while your kids play in the tub and give yourself an at home pedicure. Find ways to take care of yourself while still caring for your kids! It is important for your children to see that you value yourself, that builds their respect for you. Don’t give up who you are when you become a Mom! You can still keep your interests, a Mom is a big part of who you are, but not the ONLY part of who you are!
4. Plan a monthly date with your spouse and a date for you alone.
Reconnect with your spouse at least once a month on a “grown up” date. Keep it simple and keep it cheap but it must be time away without kids. The rule is: No talking about the kids, just talking with each other. This will allow you to connect with each other! Set a date once a month for you too…this can be a Saturday of shopping, time for a haircut, nails, a walk in the park, time to take a class whatever you alone would like to do. Get both of these dates on the calendar…make it a standing date. Treat it just like an appointment, no cancellation allowed! You must refill yourself in order to give of yourself!
Remember…if Mom ain’t happy….then no one is! Give your kids a gift; take care of yourself so you can take care of them. Keep the family happy! Happy Mother’s Day to all of you great Moms!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.