What should be in your child’s playroom?
The Holiday Season is here and the shopping has begun! I was in Target this past weekend, the toy choices are overwhelming and expensive! What are the best toys for your child? Which toys will be fun and valuable for your child’s development? It is difficult to decide what toys are the best choice!
I can remember feeling like toys in our house multiplied every night. SURELY we didn’t have THAT many stuffed animals yesterday! Too many toys results in a child who doesn’t play with anything well, they become overwhelmed with the number of toys. Parents also can fall into the trap of buying the newest flashiest toy on the market. We all love our kids, so why wouldn’t we stand in line to buy the “most popular” toy of the season? Many of these flashy toys encourage a child to play passively, using no imagination or creativity. Toys should allow a child to play in several different ways. A child should be able to decide how to play with a toy, the toy should not determine how a child plays. Play is a child’s work, it is through play that a child learns how the world works. As you make that holiday wish list, here are what I think every child needs in his playroom. You might be surprised!
- Blocks and construction type toys
Wooden blocks, cardboard bricks, Legos, and magnetic tiles are all great choices. Depending on your child’s age, you will see children build towers, knock towers over, sort blocks by color, create designs, make roads for cars and tracks for trains and more.
- Art supplies
Creative juices start flowing when a child has a blank piece of paper, crayons, paints, markers, stickers, scissors and any other item you can find in the craft aisle to help with their masterpiece. Blank paper rather than coloring books will provide more encouragement for a child to create. Children age 2 and older love to create on an easel which allows for larger muscle movement which makes drawing and painting easier.
- Books….lots of them!
Provide books in bins so children can see the front of them. The front of the book will interest a child more than the words on the spine of the book on a shelf. Provide books that have flaps, pop ups, and colorful pictures. A corner with a small chair or big floor pillow encourages reading.
- Play kitchen supplies and other child sized house hold items like keys, phones, brooms, rakes etc.
If space allows, a play kitchen is a great investment. Play food, dishes and utensils and other child sized household items encourages great imaginative play and cooperative play with others.
- Doll stroller or shopping cart
All children like to push dolls, stuffed animals, and other toys around. Toddlers and preschoolers are “gatherers” and a doll stroller or shopping cart provides a way for them to collect “treasures” on walks outside or around your home.
- Dress up clothes
Role play is a great way to encourage imagination and development of social skills and empathy. Keep those Halloween costumes out all year in an easily accessible dress up box.
- Puzzles
Puzzles help a child learn to problem solve, develop patience, practice persistence, and develop spatial awareness.
- Medical kit
Play helps a child work through scary or anxiety producing experiences. All children like to give Teddy or Baby a check up and/or shot after a visit to the doctor.
- Musical instruments
Children love to create music. Drums, xylophones, tambourines, shakers all help develop rhythm and a love of music. Children exposed to music and rhythm often are more successful in Math!
- Tools and play household items like a broom, vacuum, lawn mower etc.
Boys and girls love to hammer and build with “tools”. Allow your child to build. This is the basis of STEM education. Children also love to take on the roles they see at home, let them participate in chores and pretend with toys that look like Mom and Dad’s tools. A Swiffer or dust cloth is fun too!
- Tent or play house
Children love small places to hide, read, play quietly or play house, school, or camping. This play house or tent could be as simple as a large box or a blanket thrown over a card table.
- Dolls/stuffed animals
Playing with dolls or stuffed animals fosters empathy development. Pretend role play of Mommy and Daddy is very important.
- Balls
Throwing, catching, kicking are all developmental milestones. Simple games with balls introduces cooperative play, taking turns and helps with fine and gross motor development.
- Shape sorter
This is a basic toy that will grow with your child. Young toddlers will fill and dump, older toddlers will sort by shape and color, and often children will use it to gather other items. Another great sorting tool is your kitchen muffin tins! Have your child sort different cereals, different colored pompons, or any other item!
- Stacking cups
This less than $10.00 toy is a bargain! This will last a child from 6 months through preschool. Children bang them, stack them, pour and dump water and sand, “drink” from them and learn size and volume with them!
- Clay/Play-dough
Children will love to squish, roll, and create with clay. The use of hands to roll and shape creations develops fine motors skills used for writing.
- Pedal powered ride on toy
Learning to pedal is a developmental milestone for 2 to 3 year olds. Ride on toys get children needed outdoor time and exercise along with development of coordination.
- Cars, trucks, and or train
Children love toys that move. Purchase cars, trucks, and trains that are easy to handle and run on “kid power”.
- Farm or other toy with animals
Farm animals, dinosaurs, and/or zoo animals are a great way for children to learn about animals, habitats, and encourages imaginative play. Dinosaurs are often a favorite too!
- Family games
Even preschooler can participate in family games. Think Candyland! (not my favorite, but there are many choices out there!) Board games help a child develop skills in handling winning and losing, taking turns, and cooperative play. Board games are much more valuable than video games which do not provide as much person to person interaction.
And yes, sometimes just a large box or two, plastic containers or a few laundry baskets will provide hours of entertainment and imaginative play for your child! Toys do not need to be expensive! Remember that a toy is only valuable if your child plays with it! Quality is more important than quantity of toys. Often the best toys don’t come with batteries. And most important, allow your child to play freely…a child who plays well is learning!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Keep your precious cargo safe by using a car seat correctly!
Parents must be sure that their child’s car seat is being used correctly…we all have precious cargo!
I read an study recently in the Journal of Pediatrics which really shocked me.
A total of 291 families (81% of those eligible) participated. Nearly all (95%) CSSs were misused, with 1 or more errors in positioning (86%) and/or installation (77%). Serious CSS misuse occurred for 91% of all infants. Frequent misuses included harness and chest clip errors, incorrect recline angle, and seat belt/lower anchor use errors. https://www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476(15)01459-6/fulltext
95% had errors in car seat installation of positioning! That is such a scary thought since car accidents are the leading cause of death for children. But to be honest, car seats are not easy to install correctly! The manuals are long and sometimes confusing, there are different recommendations by auto manufacturers, and I know the installation of a car seat has caused many an argument between Moms and Dads!
The newest recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics state that until at least age 2 your child should sit in a rear facing seat and preferably a child should be rear facing until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by the car seat manufacturer (that means your child most likely will be older than age 2 and still rear facing). Children over the age of 2 may sit in a front facing seat with a 5 point harness until their weight and height exceeds the car seat’s recommendation for the seat. A booster seat should be used until a child is 57 inches tall, which is the average height of an 11-year-old (wow…bet you didn’t realize that!) No child should sit in the front seat until age 13! www.healthychildren.org
Types of car seats:
- Rear facing only
This seat is used for infants up to 22 to 40 pounds depending on the seat. They are small and have handles to carry the seat. Some have a base that can be left in the car.
- Convertible seats that can be used for rear facing
These seats can be used rear facing and then “converted” to forward facing when your child is older. They are bigger than infant seats and do not have handles or a separate base. They often have a higher rear facing weight and height limits which is great for larger babies. They should have a 5 point harness.
- 3 in 1 seats
These seats can be used rear facing, forward facing and as a booster. They may be used longer by your child. (But remember every seat has an expiration date…about 5-6 years)
Installation of rear facing car seats:
- Always know the weight and height limits of your car seat.
- The shoulder straps should be at or below your baby’s shoulders.
- The straps should be snug (you shouldn’t be able to pinch any slack) and the chest clip should be at the nipple line.
- The seat should be tight in the car. You should not be able to move it more than an inch side to side or front to back.
- Never put a rear facing seat in the front seat of a car!
- Make sure the seat is at the correct angle so your baby’s head does not flop down. Many seats have an angle indicator or adjusters that can help with this.
- I recommend having a certified car seat technician help install the car seat. This will help with the many questions parents have and may even prevent Mom and Dad from having an argument! 🙂 Check out this website for great information on car seats, car seat recommendations and locations of car seat technicians in your area. It is an excellent resource! http://www.nhtsa.gov/cps/cpsfitting/index.cfm
Installation of forward facing car seats:
- Always know the weight and height limits of your car seat.
- The shoulder straps should be at or above your child’s shoulders.
- The seat should be tight in the car. You should not be able to move it more than an inch side to side or front to back.
- You may use LATCH if the weight of the car seat plus the weight of your child is less than 65 pounds. The car seat manual will give the maximum weight for your child to use LATCH.
- You must use the car seat tether for forward facing. Read your vehicle manual to be sure you are attaching the tether in the correct place.
- I recommend having a certified car seat technician help install the car seat. This will help with the many questions parents have and may even prevent Mom and Dad from having an argument! 🙂 Check out this website for great information on car seats, car seat recommendations and locations of car seat technicians in your area. It is an excellent resource! http://www.nhtsa.gov/cps/cpsfitting/index.cfm
Common questions parents have about car seats:
- What if my rear facing child’s feet touch the back of the car seat?
No problem…your baby will cross his legs and find a comfortable position. There are few reports of leg injuries from a crash with a baby in this position, but a leg injury is a much less severe injury than a head and neck injury which you are helping to prevent by keeping your child backward facing until age 2 or older.
- What do I do if my baby is slouching in the seat?
You may put blanket rolls on both sides of your baby and a small cloth diaper or blanket between the crotch strap and your baby for a while until your baby grows a bit. Do not ever put padding or blankets or anything behind your baby or add any car seat insert unless it came with the seat or was made by the manufacturer of the car seat. Any additions to a seat may make it work a bit differently and provide less protection for your baby!
- What do I do about winter coats?
Remember that thick winter coats, blankets, or clothing should not be put under the car seat harness or straps. Dress your baby in thin layers and then tuck a blanket around your baby over the harness straps if necessary.
- Where is the safest spot for the car seat in the back?
The safest spot is where the seat can be installed properly, it is convenient for you to use safely every time. Some LATCH systems are only on the sides of the back seat. Some car seats only fit well in the middle. It depends on your car seat, your vehicle and the number of children you have on where is best for the car seat!
- Should we use a car seat on a plane?
Most infant and convertible car seats can be used on planes. The seat must have a FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) approval label on it. The FAA and the AAP recommend that children use car seats when flying until age 4. This keeps your child safer during takeoff and landing and in turbulence.
Car Seat Tips
- Always know the restrictions of your model. Know the maximum weight and height limits for your seat!
- The shoulder straps should be in the slots that are at or below your child’s shoulders for rear facing.
- The shoulder straps should be in the slots that are at or above your child’s shoulders for forward facing.
- You may need to adjust the angle of the seat when you turn it to forward facing, check your car seat manual.
- Choose to use the LATCH system if your vehicle has it OR the seat belt. Do not use both. Check your vehicle manual and your car seat manual for proper installation with the LATCH or seat belt. Latch does have a weight limit of 65 lbs total, meaning the weight of the car seat plus your child. If the car seat and your child together weighs over 65 lbs, then you must use the seat belt to secure the seat.
- Use a tether strap for forward facing. This is a strap that attaches to the top of the seat. It is often on the seat back of the vehicle. This gives extra protection by not allowing the car seat and your child’s head to move too far forward in a crash. All vehicles manufactured from 2000 on have them. Check the weight limit for the use of the tether anchor.
So much information…but so important to keep your child safe. Remember Healthychildren.org is a great resource!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Why has this happened again? What will YOU do?
Where do we go from here? It seems that we have to ask this way too often. We continue to see the images of beautiful children who have been tragically lost scroll across our TV and computer screens. The tears seem endless. What do we do with our emotions, our anger, our sadness? We must use these feelings to move our families and our country in a positive direction. The time is now when our emotions are so raw and our hearts are so full of pain. Now is the time to look at what we need to do as parents to help prevent this type of tragedy from ever happening again. We are powerful. I will not get into the political rhetoric about gun control, whether you agree or disagree with gun control….there is so much more that we can do right now beginning today.
- Love your children deeply, be involved in their lives. Teach the values of life and love to your children from moment one. Provide security to your children and shelter them from adult problems and evil in the world. Their little minds cannot process the scary truths that exist in our world. Do not parent with fear…we must not make our children live in fear.
- Help your children develop empathy. Children who have highly developed social and emotional intelligence are less likely to hurt each other. Empathy and social/emotional intelligence does not just appear in a child. We must provide the environment for it to flourish. Talk to your child about feelings, role play what to do when they see someone hurting, read books about emotions and feelings, point out actions that result in positive feelings, volunteer together as a family and provide several adult mentors who share your family values for your child. Surround your child with real relationships. Every child should have at least 5 adults in their life who they trust. Social media provides disconnected “pretend” relationships, control your child’s social media exposure. Make it a priority to monitor your child’s social media interaction. When was the last time you looked at your child’s phone? YouTube channel? Snapchat? Instagram? We must take responsibility to know what our children are doing and seeing on social media. Stay one step ahead of your child….that takes work. Being a parent takes work!
- Mentor. Need an outlet for action after this tragedy? Look what your community has to mentor children at risk. Coach, lead a scout troop, be a Big Brother or Big Sister, join youth advocacy/assistance programs…become the stable adult for children who are struggling because of unstable family lives or lack of stable adult role models. We can’t just talk we must act. We must DO not just talk.
- Protect your children from being exposed to violence in video games and TV. I feel that the violence our children see is one of our biggest mistakes as a society. The realistic violent video games that so many of our children are exposed to can numb a young mind to violence and its horror. Some will argue that children have played “cops and robbers” or “army” for generations, but never have children been exposed through that imaginary play to the reality of violence that is so graphic in these video games. Our children are “killing” with these games in graphic detail….these detailed images are not healthy for young immature minds.
- Support our young boys. All of these mass shootings have been carried out by young males. Our boys need to learn how to express their anger, frustration, and emotion in ways that are non-violent. Our boys need fathers and male role models who teach how to be strong men, but men who use their strength to love and care for others. Our young men MUST have loving role models. We must support intact families and mentors for those young men who are searching for adult role models. Surround your children with adults who can mentor…they need more than just you.
- Support our children and adults who have mental illnesses. Parents of troubled children must be their advocate to help them receive the help that is so desperately needed. Teachers must be alert to those students who need services and address those needs with parents. We must NOT be afraid to address this issue. We must remove the stigma of mental health issues. We all must support mental health programs and advocate for more programs. Communities need support and services for those parents who are parenting children with mental illness. Simply calling and reporting or removing a child from a school does not address the problem. Our voices need to be loud and clear, mental health cannot be ignored.
- Talk about gun safety and gun control. If you have guns in your home, they must be locked up and inaccessible, period. As a country, we must discuss in a nonpolitical way the laws surrounding the purchase of guns, but we must find the core values that are missing in our society too. Controlling guns without strengthening our families, instilling values of life, love, discipline, and I believe spirituality in our children, supporting the emotional needs of our young boys, and providing services for the mentally ill will not stop the violence. We can’t be one dimensional with this issue.
- Have open discussions with our schools to be sure that there are safety policies in place. We must be sure that our children are protected by common sense safety policies in the schools. Invest in school safety. Talk to your children and reassure them that they are safe at school and answer their questions about their safety gently. Fear does not prevent violence; it only increases the damage. Children should not live and go to school in fear.
- Get active. Use your emotions. Reach out and help those who are hurting, write letters, form groups to pressure companies to stop marketing violent games, join school safety committees, become a mentor to troubled youth…action heals hurt. Be a part of the solution. Be a part of the change this country desperately needs.
- Take care of your own emotions. Take a break from the news reports. Talk to other parents, your family, members of your church, friends, anyone who can support you in moments of sadness and anxiety. Redirect your thoughts to reasons you are grateful. Hug your children and revel in the moment. Protect our children from the adult conversations about this tragedy.
Now is the time to act. Our emotions and feelings are raw with pain, but time will pass and soon we will be carrying on our lives in the same manner. We cannot let this tragedy go unanswered again….we are parents, we love our children, we all can do better. Let’s work together to stop the violence by changing the country our children live in…..we can do this together. Let’s not just talk….let’s be advocates.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Oh what a difference a year makes! Growth and Development milestones the first year.
From one day to one year, what a difference a year makes!
The first few months of my children’s lives sometimes felt like a blur. Parents get VERY little sleep and are just trying to get to know their baby. I can remember feeling that the first year just flew by and all of a sudden I would have a toddler on my hands! There are so many changes that come so quickly with your baby that first year!
During that first year, your baby is learning that he or she will be loved and cared for. It is important to foster that development of trust. Don’t let your baby cry for long periods of time, especially in the first 6 months. Crying is your baby’s way of communicating. Soon you will learn what different cries mean, like “I’m tired”, “I’m hungry”, “I’m wet”, “I need to be held”, “I am bored”….Responding to your baby’s needs helps your little one develop trust in you and the world. You cannot spoil a baby! Older children can be spoiled, but not infants, so just enjoy catering to their needs and loving your baby.
Growth and development should be steady and progressive. That is more important than comparisons with other children. It is common for new parents to look at other babies and start to worry and compare. Try not to compare, just know what important milestones your baby should be reaching. Recently the CDC and American Academy of Pediatrics revised the developmental milestones for children. Prior to this, the milestones were set for when about 50% of children would reach the milestone. Often this resulted in a “wait and see” attitude. The new milestones are set when 75% or the majority of children have reached the milestone. This resulted in some of the milestones pushed back just a bit, but also results in a referral when a child misses the milestone instead of a “wait and see” attitude. The CDC has an app for your phone and detailed lists of the current milestones that can be accessed on the website.
How big your baby is at birth is a poor predictor about the size of your child by adulthood. The size at birth has more to do with the conditions of uterine development. Most children will find their growth curve and stay at that curve. A child that is smaller than 75 percent of other babies his or her age can be perfectly healthy, that may just be the growth curve that child has. By the end of the 2nd year, the size of your child will more truly reflect his or her adult size.
We parents know that our children are special! However, reaching developmental milestones faster than other children does not necessarily predict your child’s intelligence. As long as your child is reaching his or her developmental milestones on target, there are no worries!
By the end of the 2nd month your baby should:
- Smile
- Look at you!
- Start to try to self soothe. May bring hands to mouth and suck
- Begin to smile at people
- Start to coo
- Turn towards sounds
- Follow things with eyes
- Pay attention to faces
- Hold up head and begin to push up during tummy time
Activities for parents:
- Talk to your baby
- Show simple objects
- Give your baby different looks at the world, change his or her scenery!
- Play the silly face game, open and close your eyes, stick out your tongue etc.
- Start the routine of a daily walk weather permitting
- Help baby with tracking objects, babies love mobiles, shapes and movements
- Imitate your baby’s sounds and expressions as your baby starts to learn to communicate
Your baby’s growth:
- Growth will be about an ounce per day in the first 2 months
- Growth will continue at about a pound a month after the first couple of months
- Birth weight doubles by 5 months
- Birth weight triples by one year
By the end of the 4th month your baby should:
- Like to play and interact with you!
- Copy some movements and even facial expressions like smiling
- Babble even with expression
- Cry in different ways for different needs like hunger, or being tired, or lonely
- Reach for a toy or rattle
- Track with eyes well side to side
- Be able to roll from tummy to back
- Push up on elbows during tummy time
- Like colors now and be drawn to them
Parent activities:
- Continue to talk, talk, talk
- Build reading into your daily routine
- Respond to your baby’s coos and babbles…carry on a conversation!
- Continue to show your baby the world!
By the end of the 6th month your baby should:
- Recognize a familiar face and begin to have some stranger anxiety
- Like to look at self in the mirror
- Use vowel sounds when babbling and takes turns in a “conversation” with you!
- Begin some consonant sounds when babbling
- Respond when you say his or her name
- Transfer things from hand to hand, easy to hold toys are important
- Try to get things that are out of reach
- Roll from tummy to back
- Sit with support
- Like to “stand” with you holding and might bounce
- Start to push up and may rock back and forth on hands and knees
- Start to scoot and move arms like a swimmer
- Sometimes show frustration if he can’t reach something he wants
- Teething may begin with the average baby cutting their first tooth by the end of the 6th month
- Should start the “dropping game” between 7 and 8 months (helps your baby learn object permanence)
- Should begin clapping between 7 and 8 months
Parent activities:
- Remember stranger anxiety starts at about 6 months and peaks at about 9 months. This is normal. Help your baby by gradually introducing strangers. A stranger is someone your baby does not see everyday! Never force a situation quickly when your baby is afraid of a new face. Hold your baby, sit on the floor and let your baby explore with you holding him or staying near at first.
- Start to teach finger games like “so big”, waving “bye-bye”, playing patty cake
- Continue to read and talk to your baby
- Make sure you are establishing routines, especially bed time and nap time routines
By the end of the 9th month your baby should:
- Begin to have favorite toys
- Understand the word “no”
- Copy sounds you make and gestures you make
- Begin raking small objects to pick them up
- Play peak a boo
- Look for hidden items
- Look where you point
- Sit well without support
- Gets to a sitting position on his/her own
- Lift arms to be picked up
Parent activities:
- Continue to play finger games like “Itsy Bitsy Spider”
- Continue waving bye-bye
- Build things for baby to crawl under and over
- Let your baby play with every day objects like pots, pans, plastic containers
- Encourage your baby to imitate your behavior like brushing hair, talking on the phone
- Encourage pretend play with keys, phones, dolls, chunky trucks etc.
- Play with pop up toys, a jack-in-the-box is a great way to teach object permanence
- Play in and out games
- Let your baby hold your fingers to walk
By the end of the 12th month your baby should:
- Waves bye-bye
- Understands the word “no” may briefly stop when he/she hears the word
- Puts items into a container
- Pull up to stand
- Cruise around furniture
- Drinks from an open cup with you holding the cup
- Uses thumb and forefinger to pick up small items (pincer grasp)
- Plays games with you like Patty Cake or So Big
- Look for missing objects in last seen location
- Say Ma Ma and Da Da
- Start to show fear, will cry when you leave
Parent activities:
- Help baby with push toys, wide based push toys that children can walk behind are fun!
- Play games that the baby has a part in like puffing up your cheeks and letting her push the air out
- Look at books and make up stories about the pictures
- Teach body parts Where is your nose? Where is your tummy?
- Play with musical instruments that shake and bang
- Play music your baby loves to move and dance
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Helpful websites:
Let’s talk toddler!
Kaitlyn was a typical toddler, she definitely had an opinion!
You wake up one day, and it is a whole new ball game. You now have a toddler. Toddlers are so much fun, but can also be a challenge. We are not used to our child having an opinion, and a toddler has one and often expresses it very loudly! Toddlers can be having a tantrum one minute and laughing the next!
Your toddler’s biggest developmental task is to start to develop independence. Your child will begin to separate from you at times, and be very clingy at other times. Every day and sometimes every minute, is a new adventure when you have a 1 to 3 year old!
Recently the CDC and American Academy of Pediatrics updated the growth and developmental milestones for toddlers. They moved the milestone back to when 75% of the children should reach it. In the past, the milestones were set when 50% of the children were reaching it. This change will hopefully remove the “wait and see” attitude and encourage parents and health care providers to refer when a milestone is not reached. There is an excellent app for your phone and easy to read milestone lists for each age group on the CDC website.
We know that toddlers are a bundle of energy. Everything is an adventure! Kitchen cupboards, knobs and buttons, computers, and even the drain in the tub is interesting. Toddlers are busy discovering and really don’t have time for naps and potty training, although both are important for toddlers! Toddlers are free little spirits and have very little self-control, which often results in your precious child throwing himself on the floor in a fit of frustration and anger. To better understand your toddler, there are a few principles of toddler psychology…..
- A toddler is developing creativity, independence, curiosity, and imagination. The whole world is open and exciting! Your child is not misbehaving when he smashes peas, climbs on the table, or puts his finger in a place it should not be, he is exploring. Exploration is developmentally appropriate for your toddler!
- A toddler has very little self-control and tolerance to frustration. Sometimes it is so frustrating that a puzzle piece will not fit, or he can’t climb on the counter, or you break up his cracker that he wanted whole! Because a toddler has very few words and a limited repertoire to handle frustration, the “logical” thing for him to do is melt down, kick, cry, and let his opinion be heard by all!
- Toddlers want attention. Attention is attention to a toddler, whether it is negative attention or positive attention. As parents, we need to limit our words of explanation to a toddler. A 2-year-old doesn’t really care if he will fall off the table, he just wants to climb on it. You will never convince him otherwise…there will be no moment of epiphany when he understands your safety talk! We must not reinforce behavior by giving extended attention to unwanted behavior. Give lots of positive words to positive behavior….very few words to negative behavior.
- Toddlers need predictability and routine. Your child will behave much better when there is a routine in place at home. The amount of frustration and the number of tantrums will decrease when you establish routines and rituals.
- Toddlers need some sense of control. Give your child true choices. “Do you want the bananas or the apple sauce?” “Do you want to wear this shirt or this one?” “Do you want to read your story before your bath or after?” Do not give choices when there are no true choice. Only ask a yes or no question if you are happy with the answer being “No!”
- Toddler temper tantrums are a result of frustration, being overly tired, being hungry and learning that they work!
Most 1 year olds can:
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Plays games with you, like pat-a-cake
Language/Communication Milestones
- Waves “bye-bye”
- Calls a parent “mama” or “dada” or another special name
- Understands “no” (pauses briefly or stops when you say it)
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Puts something in a container, like a block in a cup
- Looks for things he sees you hide, like a toy under a blanket
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Pulls up to stand
- Walks, holding on to furniture
- Drinks from a cup without a lid, as you hold it
- Picks things up between thumb and pointer finger, like small bits of food
- 1 year olds should have tripled his/her birth weight
- Take 1 to 2 naps a day and sleep 11 to 12 hours at night. Be sure to have a good bedtime routine.
Most 15 month olds can:
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Copies other children while playing, like taking toys out of a container when another child does
- Shows you an object she likes
- Claps when excited
- Hugs stuffed doll or other toy
- Shows you affection (hugs, cuddles, or kisses you)
Language/Communication Milestones
- Tries to say one or two words besides “mama” or “dada,” like “ba” for ball or “da” for dog
- Looks at a familiar object when you name it
- Follows directions given with both a gesture and words. For example, he gives you a toy when you hold out your hand and say, “Give me the toy.”
- Points to ask for something or to get help
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Tries to use things the right way, like a phone, cup, or book
- Stacks at least two small objects, like blocks
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Takes a few steps on his own
- Uses fingers to feed herself/himself some food
- 15 month olds will often take 1 nap a day and sleep 11 to 12 hours at night.
- Not separate easily. Separation anxiety peaks between 18 and 24 months.
- Know the difference between how Mom and Dad parent and play. Many will prefer one parent over the other at times. Toddlers cannot intentionally do things to hurt your feelings at this age. Connecting with one parent over the other may be because your toddler is learning male and female roles, may need more nurturing from mom or more physical play from dad. Roll with it!
Most 18 month olds can:
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Moves away from you, but looks to make sure you are close by
- Points to show you something interesting
- Puts hands out for you to wash them
- Looks at a few pages in a book with you
- Helps you dress him by pushing arm through sleeve or lifting up foot
Language/Communication Milestones
- Tries to say three or more words besides “mama” or “dada”
- Follows one-step directions without any gestures, like giving you the toy when you say, “Give it to me.”
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Copies you doing chores, like sweeping with a broom
- Plays with toys in a simple way, like pushing a toy car
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Walks without holding on to anyone or anything
- Scribbles
- Drinks from a cup without a lid and may spill sometimes
- Feeds herself with her fingers
- Tries to use a spoon
- Climbs on and off a couch or chair without help
- Toddlers at this age will start to develop separation anxiety. Always tell your child when you are leaving, never sneak out. Tell them you will return and they are safe.
Most 24 month olds can:
-
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Notices when others are hurt or upset, like pausing or looking sad when someone is crying
- Looks at your face to see how to react in a new situation
Language/Communication Milestones
- Points to things in a book when you ask, like “Where is the bear?”
- Says at least two words together, like “More milk.”
- Points to at least two body parts when you ask him to show you
- Uses more gestures than just waving and pointing, like blowing a kiss or nodding yes
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Holds something in one hand while using the other hand; for example, holding a container and taking the lid off
- Tries to use switches, knobs, or buttons on a toy
- Plays with more than one toy at the same time, like putting toy food on a toy plate
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Kicks a ball
- Runs
- Walks (not climbs) up a few stairs with or without help
- Eats with a spoon
Most 2 1/2 year olds can:
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Plays next to other children and sometimes plays with them
- Shows you what she can do by saying, “Look at me!”
- Follows simple routines when told, like helping to pick up toys when you say, “It’s clean-up time.”
Language/Communication Milestones
- Says about 50 words
- Says two or more words together, with one action word, like “Doggie run”
- Names things in a book when you point and ask, “What is this?”
- Says words like “I,” “me,” or “we”
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Uses things to pretend, like feeding a block to a doll as if it were food
- Shows simple problem-solving skills, like standing on a small stool to reach something
- Follows two-step instructions like “Put the toy down and close the door.”
- Shows he knows at least one color, like pointing to a red crayon when you ask, “Which one is red?”
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Uses hands to twist things, like turning doorknobs or unscrewing lids
- Takes some clothes off by himself, like loose pants or an open jacket
- Jumps off the ground with both feet
- Turns book pages, one at a time, when you read to her/him
Most 3 year olds can:
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Calms down within 10 minutes after you leave her, like at a childcare drop off
- Notices other children and joins them to play
Language/Communication Milestones
- Talks with you in conversation using at least two back-and-forth exchanges
- Asks “who,” “what,” “where,” or “why” questions, like “Where is mommy/daddy?”
- Says what action is happening in a picture or book when asked, like “running,” “eating,” or “playing”
- Says first name, when asked
- Talks well enough for others to understand, most of the time
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Draws a circle, when you show him how
- Avoids touching hot objects, like a stove, when you warn her
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Strings items together, like large beads or macaroni
- Puts on some clothes by himself, like loose pants or a jacket
- Uses a fork
Parenting activities for toddlers include:
- Toddler “field trips”. Bring your toddler to museums, parks, library story times, the post office, the grocery store, fire stations, apple orchards, and play groups.
- Play matching games, sorting games, shape and color games and puzzles.
- Read, read, read! Try to read 30 minutes a day broken into short time slots.
- Encourage crayons, finger paints, and clay to develop fine muscle control for writing. Writing on an easel or blackboard is easier for young children because larger muscles are used.
- Encourage water play, sand or dry rice play, filling and dumping.
- Play with puppets.
- Allow your child to feed himself, encourage use of utensils.
- Help to expand your toddler’s language by talking to him. Help him finish words and sentences. If he says “cup”, you can respond, “You want your blue cup with milk.”
- Play pretend with your toddler. Play kitchens, dolls, stuffed animals, trains, cars, dress up….
- Play follow the leader with your toddler.
- Encourage rhymes and songs.
- Play musical instruments with your toddler.
- Respond to wanted behaviors with positive words and ignore unwanted behaviors. Use time outs for behaviors like hitting, biting, and shoving.
At your child’s 18 month and 24 month well child visit, your healthcare provider should be screening for signs of autism. Red flags that a parent might see are:
- Your child repeats words but does not try to participate in conversations.
- Your child does not respond to his name when you say it.
- Your child does not make eye contact with you or others.
- Your child avoids social contact or physical touch.
- Your child has not developed speech or is losing words rather than building a vocabulary.
- Your child does not play with toys like his peers and does not use imaginative play.
- Your child seems to be under sensitive or overly sensitive to stimulations such as sound, touch, and texture.
Remember, if your child is reaching developmental milestones, no worries! Many times children will not be able to do something that is expected because they have never been encouraged or have never had the opportunity. Be sure to provide the opportunity for your toddler to reach milestones, even if it takes longer to allow your child to complete a task, or it is messy!! If your child is not reaching developmental milestones, contact your doctor, and refer to your state’s early intervention program. The earlier the intervention, the better the outcome.
Important links that will help you:
- “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” Campaign
This campaign educates parents about childhood development, including early warning signs of autism and other developmental disorders, and it encourages developmental screening and intervention. It will give you tips on how to determine if your child needs screening. - Overview of Early Intervention
Learn more about early intervention services from the National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities. Find out about your state’s early intervention program and how to access it. - Bright Futures
Bright Futures materials for families are available for parenting tips for children from birth to 21 years of age. This is provided by the American Academy of Pediatrics. - Developmental Surveillance and Screening Guidelines
This American Academy of Pediatrics website provides guidelines on surveillance and screening for developmental delays in children. - National Association for the Education of Young Children
(NAEYC)
NAEYC provides accreditation for early childhood programs and preschools that meet certain standards. You can search for an accredited program or preschool near you. NAEYC also provides resources, tools, and information for parents.
Toddlers can be exhausting, but exhilarating! Looking through your toddler’s eyes, you will learn to enjoy the small wonders of the world again. Tie up your running shoes, you have a busy toddler!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy