Protecting your child from bug bites
Protection from ticks and mosquitoes is important for your child!
Today is beautiful, and I hope most of you have your children outside at some point! Children both love and NEED to be outdoors. Outside activity is an important part of a healthy child’s life, and it helps children get good and tired too! I know one of the biggest reasons I encouraged outdoor play was that it provided me with a good long nap from my children in the afternoon. A method to my parenting madness!
With spring and summer upon us, the pesky bugs will soon be too! Not only are these insects just plain annoying, they can carry dangerous diseases to your children. Most children have mild reactions to bug bites, but some children (are they just sweeter?) really seem to attract those insects and those bites result in large red welts that make them miserable. West Nile Virus, Lyme Disease, and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and the recent outbreak of Zika Virus are diseases that could result from insect bites too. So, if we want our children outside and we don’t have a protective “bee suit” in the house…what are we to do?
The use of insect repellents are recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Center for Disease Control. Although most of us hate to put chemicals on our children, DEET used correctly is one of the best protectors for your child. The amount of DEET in insect repellents varies from less than 10% to more than 30%. Studies show us that the higher concentrations of DEET protect for longer periods of time, but not more effectively. So a repellant with 10% DEET will protect for about 2 hours, 24% about 5 hours, and at over 30% there is very little increase in protection. The AAP recommends using a concentration of DEET between 10 and 30 percent. Most of our children will not be outside in an area with biting insects more than 2 hours at a time…so 10% DEET should be enough the majority of the time.
How to use insect repellent safely:
- Always read the label.
- Do not use DEET on children under 2 months of age.
- Do not use a concentration of DEET greater than 30%, usually 10% will be adequate.
- Only apply the repellent to the outside of your child’s clothing and on exposed skin.
- Use a small amount just to cover the area, thicker layers are not more effective.
- Do not spray repellents on your child’s face. Put the repellent on your hands and rub on your child’s face being careful around eyes, and mouth.
- Do not put repellent on your child’s hands. Do not apply to open areas like cuts.
- Spray repellents in open areas, do not breathe them in.
- Wash your child with soap and water to remove the repellent when he comes inside. Wash your child’s clothes before he wears them again.
- Do not use sunscreen/insect repellent combinations. You will need to reapply the sunscreen and the repellent should not be reapplied.
- Cover your child’s exposed skin with long pants and sleeves if you know he will be in an area with a lot of biting insects. This will decrease the skin area that will need repellent.
- Try to avoid dusk, the “buggiest” time of day!
- Remember DEET is NOT effective on stinging insects like bees and wasps.
Repellents that do NOT work
- Wristbands with chemical repellents
- Dryer sheets pinned to your children (A big trend a few years ago! I once saw an entire preschool class of children on a playground all equipped with dryer sheets!)
- Garlic (would keep other people away! )
- Ultrasonic devices that give off sound waves
- Bug zappers (may actually increase insects in the area)
Other repellents:
- Permethrin is a chemical repellent. It is effective and should be applied to clothing only, or items like tents, not on skin. Use in concentrations of between 5 and 10 percent. This repellent will kill ticks on contact. Great for spraying on tents and sleeping bags.
- Picaridin is as effective as DEET and some studies show it may be less likely to cause skin irritation in children. It has been used in Europe for many years, more recently here in the U. S.
- 2% soy bean oil and lemon eucalyptus has been shown recently to be as effective as 10% DEET. Lemon Eucalyptus Oil is not approved for use in children under the age of 3.
- Cedar, and Citronella essential oils are less effective and give very short term protection.
So the bottom line is, insect repellents are a better alternative that the potential complications from a disease carrying insect. Be smart and use repellents safely. Protect your child with clothing and by avoiding the time of day/night and areas where insect bites would be more common. Check your child for ticks daily and remove any tick with a tweezers and clean with soap and water. Lastly, put this at the bottom of your worry list….outdoor fun is essential for children! Protect them with common sense and enjoy the outdoors…don’t let the bugs scare you off!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Reference: www.healthychildren.org
Loving Touch is Important at Every Age!
Recently I visited with our twenty something son. As he walked in, he gave me a big hug and I kissed him on the cheek. As I was preparing for my parenting groups this week I was thinking about that moment. The hug and kiss of my son, who is definitely a young man now, was as sweet ( albeit a bit more scruffy and I was on my tip toes) as the snuggle I would have with him as a baby. Loving touch with your child is at the center of a parent and child bond. The connection between child and parent through touch is undeniable. I am a firm believer in the importance of touch and our children….from birth, to toddler years, preschool, school age, and yes even in the awkward teens. Continuing the physical hugs and kisses are important for your child and you.
Snuggles and touches are natural for most parents with an infant. Infant massage has been proven to provide many benefits for babies. Routine loving massage can help an infant
- Gain weight
- Calm
- Improve sleep
- Improve their latch for nursing
- Increase bonding
- Improve neurological development
- Improve their immune system
- Decrease teething pain
- Decrease congestion
- Learn body awareness
- Learn that touch is a loving expression
- and the list goes on…..
Getting started…
- Turn off th TV, cell phone and other distractions. This is time to concentrate on your baby alone.
- Warm up the room and your hands.
- Lie your baby on his/her back a warm towel or blanket.
- Use a vegetable based oil. (if you could eat it, then it is OK)
- Make sure you are calm.
- Make eye contact with your baby.
- Ask permission to touch, show your baby your hands.
- Lay your hands on your child lovingly. Often babies prefer touch on legs and feet first.
- Use light gentle touch, but not a tickle touch.
- Move from the center out…upper thigh to foot.
- Give equal treatment to both sides of the body!
- Movements should be slow and relaxed…like a lullaby. Sing while you do it! 🙂
- Start with a short session and watch your baby’s cues. If your baby wiggles away, fusses, looks away, then stop and try again at another time. As your baby becomes accustomed to massage, the length of time may increase. You don’t have to massage your baby’s whole body, just the parts that he or she enjoys!
Technique:
- Make eye contact with your baby and sing or talk to him–or play music.
- Breath, relax yourself
- Hold one foot in one hand and use the other hand to milk the leg. Squeeze thigh to foot, this is the “milking” motion.
- Roll leg between hands from thigh to ankle, like you are rolling dough or clay.
- Finish with long strokes from thigh to foot.
- Press the sole of your baby’s foot with your thumbs. Massage each toe. Play “this little piggy”.
- Repeat on other leg.
- Follow same process of milking, rolling, and stroking on the arms.
- Press the palm of your baby’s hand with your thumbs. Massage each finger.
- Slide your palm and fingers in a circular motion from the ribs downward. Then move clockwise around the tummy. Smooth the chest like pages in a book.
- If you have used massage for a while, some babies will allow you to massage their face. Massage face with light fingertips stroking across the forehead from the center to the sides. Massage tears ducts. Move down nose and on the sides. Use a circular motion from the temples down the side of the face.
- Massage shoulders and use long strokes down the back and on the bottom.
Remember…the intent of your touch is much more important than your technique! Just relax and enjoy!!
I Love You massage for colic or gas
- Trace the letter “I” on the right side of your baby’s tummy. Start just under his ribs and move down to your baby’s hip.
- Now stroke from left to right on your baby’s lower tummy making the long part of the letter “L”.
- Make a short downward stroke on the right side of your baby’s tummy making the short to complete the “L”.
- Complete the “I love you” by making an upside down “U” starting at your baby’s left hip and circling along the top of the tummy and down the right side.
- Continue these strokes to help calm a gassy tummy.
Massage can continue to some degree all the way through childhood. There were nights that I sat on the side of my children’s bed and massaged an aching tummy or head, and I have massaged sore muscles after a big game or meet. The continued touch with your child will keep you connected in many ways. There were certainly times when I hugged my children in those teen years and I got an eye roll too…but because of those continued “loving touches” through the years, the hugs in the stands of a high school football games, college track meets, quick weekend visits at school, and now when our “adult” (they will always be my kids) kids visit those hugs and kisses continue. Don’t underestimate the value of teaching your child the benefits of touch as an expression of love.
Check out your local hospital for classes on infant massage.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Get a little dirty…it is time to garden!
It is that time of year when I am doing a bit of grumbling about all the yard work, but also looking forward to getting my perennial beds cleared and blooming, my cut flower bed planted and preparing my vegetable garden for this summer’s crop of tomatoes, beans and of course sunflowers. I definitely am not a Master Gardener, but I have a special place in my heart for gardening and getting a little dirty. I have very fond memories of my Grandfather and his vegetable garden and beautiful roses. I would walk through his garden when I visited and help water and weed. With his garden gloves on and a hat perched on the back of his head, he was a true farmer at heart. He showed me how to eat a fresh tomato right off the vine and how to pinch a peach so the fuzzy skin would pull back and I could eat the sweet inside. I guess my love of gardening started by watching my Grandpa and then my own father take pride in their gardens. My dad still grows amazing tomatoes!
So many of our children have no idea where their fruits and vegetables come from or even what a fresh tomato really tastes like! With the new fruit and vegetable pouches, I sometimes wonder if many toddlers even know what a real vegetable LOOKS like! There are many life lessons that can be taught by simply taking a small plot of land or a small container and growing something with your child! There is no better way to instill a love of nature and to encourage healthy eating than growing a fresh fruit or vegetable as a family.
Children are natural gardeners—they are curious, they learn by doing, and they love to play in the dirt. Gardening is good for families, it gives your family time together outdoors, and time to let your child get dirty for a purpose! Children love to look for worms, love to plant seeds, water, watch plants grow, pick their crop and even try the harvest they have grown. What a great way to get them to try green beans! This helps cultivate their curiosity about nature, the earth and maybe even foster a love of gardening. Children will also love the special time they spend with you. Gardening teaches patience, responsibility and is like having a science lesson without even knowing it! You might even find yourself feeling a little proud and definitely loving the taste of a fresh homegrown tomato!
Tips on gardening with children.
1. Plan a small container garden or a small plot of land that is theirs. Talk about a plant’s need for sun, water, and food. Put the garden in an area that can be seen easily by your child. A plastic storage bin or any other container with holes poked in the bottom for drainage works great for this! Keep it near your back door so your child can see it often. Tomato plants or lettuce can actually be grown in just a bag of topsoil that you open and plant the seedlings in the bag. What could be easier?
2. A “yardstick” garden is plenty big for a child. Take a yardstick and measure a garden that is 3 foot square. A young child can reach all sides of the garden and will take pride in that little plot he can call his own.
3. Gardens do not have to be square. A “pizza” garden can be planted with wedge sections. Put different plants in each wedge. Plant ingredients that would taste good on a pizza! This is a great way to grow an herb garden!
4. Use a little imagination, children will love a sunflower house! Plant large sunflowers in a semi-circle. As they grow, tie the top of them together and your child can have a “secret” hiding place in your garden!
5. Watering and weeding is not as much fun as planning and planting ( I don’t like it as well!). For older preschoolers or school age children, put a gardening calendar in the kitchen or in your child’s bedroom with tasks to be completed. Don’t force it, remember you are instilling a love of gardening! Keeping your child’s portion of the garden small should keep the time necessary to only a few minutes a day. Using a container garden really keeps it easy!
6. Child sized garden tools make it easier and more fun. I have seen tools in the dollar area of Target! I know if I had young children, the gardening boots and clogs I have seen would be a must, so cute!! A gardening hat is a necessity, protect yourself and your child from the sun. What is cuter than your toddler gardener in a wide brimmed hat! Don’t forget the sunscreen too.
7. Let your child dig the holes for the seeds or the plants that have been bought. Digging holes is a natural for kids!
8. Encourage your child by planting seeds that mature quickly and are easy for them to handle. Radishes and lettuce are great. They germinate in a couple of days. Bean seeds and sunflower seeds are easy to handle.
9. Be sure to put the seed packet on a stake in the garden to remind them what they have planted and what it will look like. Some discount stores even have little garden stakes that your preschooler could decorate!
10. Children love the unusual. Many vegetables are available in different colors or sizes. Speckled beans, red carrots, miniature cucumbers and pumpkins, purple beans, and grape tomatoes are just a few examples. Try something really unusual by taking a cucumber or pumpkin bloom and placing it inside of a 2 liter bottle. Shade the bottle with leaves from the plant and let the pumpkin or cucumber grow inside the bottle. It is a great “show and tell” item when there is a large cucumber or pumpkin inside the bottle!
11. Add a bird bath to attract birds. Children can be responsible for refilling the bird bath!
12. Think about planting bright colored flowers that are known to attract butterflies and hummingbirds. Exploring the garden for butterflies, bugs, worms and caterpillars is great fun!
13. You might want to set a part of the garden for digging all summer. Put your sandbox in the middle of your garden to make your garden kid friendly. There were always a few cars or trucks around in the dirt of our garden.
14. You can have your child make garden stones or markers for the garden. Find larger stones and let them paint designs on the stones. These make great Mother’s Day or Father’s Day gifts for Grandparents!
15. Have your child help build a scarecrow for the garden. This can be a fun activity for late summer especially.
16. Measure the sunflowers that you plant once a week and chart their growth. If you have older children, planting sunflower seeds that mature in about 90 days is a great way to measure the length of summer. When they bloom, it is time to go back to school!
17. Try to grow organically as possible. Mulch is a great way to cut down on weeds which will prevent the need for weed killer and mulch will keep the soil moister during dry spells. Mix compost and/or topsoil into your garden each year to provide nutrients needed for plant growth. By growing without chemicals, your child will be able to eat a tomato right from the vine…there is nothing better!
18. Let your child harvest their own vegetables. There is nothing better than picking your salad fixings for the day! This will encourage your child to eat their vegetables I promise! Your child will love to eat “garden to table”!
19. Keep it fun…start small! Most new gardeners try something too big and then quickly become discouraged with the experience. Just grow one tomato plant and supplement your “garden” with a trip to the Farmer’s Market! We always had enough green beans from our small garden for at least one dinner. The kids would always ask, “Our these our beans?” With a little white lie, our kids ate green beans the whole summer!
There are some great children’s books that can be fun to read with your child as you start your garden:
Growing Vegetable Soup by Lois Ehlert
Pumpkin Pumpkin by Jeanne Titherington
Tops and Bottoms by Janet Stevens
This is the Sunflower by Lola M. Schaefer
Whose Garden Is It? by Mary Ann Hoberman
The Carrot Seed by Ruth Krauss
The Tiny Seed by Eric Carle
Oliver’s Vegetables by Vivian French
Stone Soup by Marcia Brown
Alison’s Zinnia by Anita Lobel
Get a little dirty….plant a few seeds and you will see your child’s excitement grow as the plants grow, and who knows you might just raise a kid that likes his vegetables!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
“Mommy time out” a must!
1. Play some calming music. Background noise of music can bring a calming effect on you and your child! When your “time out” is over…try playing some upbeat fun music to lighten the mood, dance!
Take a “Mommy time out” and you will enjoy being a Mom even more…trust me. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you wonderful Moms!Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Vaccines….are they safe? Do they work?
Vaccines do work! Don’t wait…vaccinate!
How Can a Parent Decide if Vaccines are Safe?
Every day parents are bombarded with information from doctors, nurses, TV hosts, books and the list goes on. Parents are best served by listening to a team of experts. We must trust the health care system that has given us the tools to prevent diseases that were so prevalent in children just a few years ago. Committees of expert scientists, clinicians and health care providers serve on the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention), AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), the Infectious Diseases Society of America and other groups. These experts look at scientific studies to see if they are performed carefully, are published in reputable journals and can be reproduced. Studies that do not meet these standards are not considered reliable. These groups have pulled vaccines in the past that have been determined to have unsafe side effects or side effects that outweigh the benefit of the vaccine. The groups have also repeatedly looked at studies regarding vaccines and asthma, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, SIDS and autism. No studies have shown a reliable causal relationship between vaccines and these illnesses. Be careful what you read…be sure it is reliable!
How vaccines work:
- A vaccine is usually given by a shot. At this time, there is one oral vaccine for rotavirus.
- The vaccine contains a dead or weakened germ that will NOT cause the disease.
- The body makes antibodies to fight the weak or dead germs in the vaccine.
- These antibodies practice on the weak germs so when the real strong disease germs, which are still out there, enter the child’s body the ready antibodies will know how to destroy them and the child will not become sick.
- Antibodies fight infectious diseases and usually stay in a person’s system even after the disease is gone to protect him or her from getting sick again–that is immunity.
- Newborn babies are immune to many diseases because they have antibodies from their mothers—this only lasts about a year. The timing of the vaccine schedule is such that a child will develop immunity to a disease before he or she is most vulnerable.
- Immunizations protect your child and the community—herd immunity. Herd immunity protects unborn children, the elderly whose immunity may have waned and babies that are not yet fully immunized.
- When you choose to immunize your child and follow the recommended guidelines, your child is protected from diseases that can cause death, disability, or severe illness and even though we don’t often see these diseases; they are still out there today!
What About Side Effects?
If your definition of safety is something that does not have any side effects–then a vaccine is not 100% safe. All vaccines have side effects, but most of them are very mild. This might include a fever, soreness, redness or swelling at the vaccine site, and fussiness. Some side effects are more severe, but these are much rarer. Some parents ask if it would be safer to avoid the vaccine and the possible side effects. This is a choice that also has side effects, ones that are much more serious. The risk of your child being infected with the disease the vaccine prevents is greater than the risk of the serious side effects.
I Never See These Diseases, Why Get a Vaccine?
Many of the diseases that vaccines prevent are common. Pertussis or whooping cough is a very common disease that if your child is not immunized against–they are very likely to become ill with the disease. This is a serious disease especially in infants and the elderly. Last year in the Indianapolis area, there were large pockets of whooping cough outbreaks in several schools.
Many of the diseases could become common again. H-flu diseases such as meningitis and measles mumps and rubella have all “popped up” in areas where the immunization rates have fallen. A measles outbreak in the Indianapolis area during the Super Bowl a few winters ago and a more recent outbreak beginning in Disneyland both demonstrated how contagious this disease is and how quickly the disease can spread among children and adults who are not fully immunized.
Some diseases such as polio and diphtheria have essentially been eliminated from this country, but still occur in other countries. We are a small world with many people traveling internationally; your child can be exposed to these diseases by traveling or by people who have entered this country.
Following the recommended immunization schedule is one of the best decisions you can make for your child’s health. Here is the most recent approved vaccine schedule. Don’t wait, vaccinate!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Taking Care of Your Child’s Teeth
This cute little smile cost us several thousand dollars later to straighten it out….but worth it!
There is nothing cuter than a toothless grin of a baby. Next the cute little pearly whites that erupt create a darling smile, then there is a toothless grin again as the tooth fairy starts to make visits to your home, and then soon your child will have two big front teeth that look way too big for their mouth. As your child grows, their dental needs change too. Why is dental health so important for children? Dental decay is the most common chronic childhood illness. There are at least 4 million preschoolers who have had at least one cavity. Forty to fifty percent of children will have cavities before the age of five. 51 million school hours are lost each year due to dental health problems. The American diet is high in sugar, and we are using more and more non-fluoridated bottled water for drinking. This all adds up to an increase in dental cavities, and a decrease in dental health of our children. Children with cavities in their primary or “baby” teeth have more problems with poor weight gain, iron deficiency, speech problems and poor dental health as adults. Taking care of our children’s teeth is part of good health care!
I. When do baby teeth form and erupt?
- The primary teeth or baby teeth begin to form before your baby is born at about the 14th 19th week of pregnancy. The crown, or the white part of the tooth that is seen, continues to develop until several weeks to several months after your child is born.
- Total of 20 baby teeth, 10 on top and 10 on the bottom by about age 3.
- The first tooth to appear usually is the lower central incisors (the bottom two teeth) around 6 months of age. Don’t panic if your baby’s first tooth isn’t the lower two teeth…some baby’s teeth erupt to the beat of their own drummer!
- Teething can be painful for infants. Babies explore their world with their mouths, and during teething this can be uncomfortable. There can be redness, swelling in the gums, drooling, increase in finger sucking, and the need to bite and chew on any object. Some babies will pull at ears or rub their jaw line, teething pain is often referred to the ear area.
- Sometimes parents will see a “blister” where the tooth is about to erupt, this is normal.
- Many babies like a clean teething ring, frozen wash cloth, frozen fruit in a mesh feeder, frozen bagel or mom’s fingers to rub the gums.
- You can give acetaminophen, or ibuprofen (after 6 months of age) to help with the pain. Ibuprofen is a bit more effective for inflammation of the gums, but wait until your baby is at least 6 months to use this!
- Do NOT place oral numbing ointments on your baby’s gums. These over the counter remedies contain benzocaine. These treatments have little or no benefit and can cause a serious and sometimes fatal decrease in oxygen carried in your child’s bloodstream. Benzocaine is an ingredient in common treatments like Orajel, Baby Orajel, Anbesol and Orabase.
- Do NOT use homeopathic teething tablets. The FDA found there was inconsistent amounts of the toxic substance belladonna in these teething tablets.
- Teething pain usually occurs for 3 to 4 days prior to the tooth breaking through the gum. Pain should decrease once the tooth breaks through the gum line. There may still be some discomfort for a few days after. It is not a month-long process unless your baby is cutting multiple teeth one after the other.
- Teething does NOT cause a fever, vomiting, diarrhea or cold symptoms. If your baby has any of these symptoms with teething, he or she is probably ill too.
- Teething can cause an increase in drooling which can lead to a rash or irritation around the mouth and on a baby’s chest. Keep the area dry by changing shirts frequently, using absorbent bibs, and “water proofing” the skin with ointments.
II. When is the first dental visit?
- The first dental visit should be after the first tooth and/or by age 1. It is important to have your child’s first teeth examined. Dental problems can begin early. Children with healthy teeth can eat better, develop better speech, and dental cavities can cause a permanent state of infection in your child.
- Usually the first visit is just a visual exam—usually on mom of dad’s lap. Going to the dentist is just like a well child exam at your child’s doctor. We want to be sure we support healthy teeth, not just see the dentist when there is a problem!
III. How do you care for the first teeth?
- Wipe your baby’s first teeth using a wash cloth or gauze or a soft bristled baby toothbrush. Ideally, your baby’s teeth should be wiped or brushed twice a day. Once in the morning and once before bed. The earlier your child becomes accustomed to wiping or brushing their teeth, the easier it will be.
- You can use a small smear (about the size of a grain of rice) of fluoride toothpaste on your child’s tooth or teeth until age 3 and then a pea size amount after age 3. Fluoride is important! It helps strengthen your child’s teeth and prevent decay.
- You should help your child brush teeth until at least age 6. Children are not coordinated enough to brush teeth well before that. Sometimes this will be a battle, but it is worth the battle. We want to form good dental hygiene habits early! Do what you have to do to get teeth brushed. Check out these tooth brushing songs published by the American Dental Association (ADA). https://www.mouthhealthy.org/en/kids-brushing-playlist
- Have your child sit on your lap facing out, or you sit on the floor and lean your child back into your lap to brush.
- Let your child brush after you brush. Use circular motions on the teeth and brush along the gum line.
- Use stickers, games, songs, whatever it takes to get the tooth brushing done. If your child cries, brush quickly…but at least the mouth will be open!
- Never put your baby to bed with a bottle of formula or breast milk. This will result in decay in your baby’s first teeth!
- Never put juice or any other sugared drink in a bottle. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO juice in the first year of life and limited amounts of juice in older children.
- Do not allow your child to walk around with a sippy cup of juice or milk all day long. This will leave a continual coating of sugars on your child’s teeth.
- You can begin to floss your child’s teeth when they start to touch. Again, this is a good habit to start young!
- As your child begins to eat table food, try to avoid high sugar snacks. Sticky snacks are the worst. Fruit snacks, dried fruit like raisins and any other sticky food must be brushed out of your child’s teeth.
IV. When do I worry about thumb sucking, finger sucking and pacifiers?
- It is perfectly normal for infants and young children to need to suck. Sucking decreases stress in young children and makes for a happier child!
- It should be discouraged starting at about age 18 months. Parents should limit pacifier use to bedtime and nap time.
- All thumb sucking and pacifier use should be discouraged after age 3.
- Most children stop on their own, but some need help. Most will then quit with encouragement from the dentist and parents. Do not use negative reinforcement like hot sauce on a thumb, taping fingers, or putting mittens on your child.
- Prolonged sucking can create crowded, crooked teeth or bite problem. The fingers, thumb and pacifier all affect the teeth the same way.
VI. My child grinds his teeth, is this bad?
- Teeth grinding happens in many toddlers. The toddler’s molars are very smooth, and children will often grind.
- Most children outgrow the habit by about age 6.
- If teeth grinding continues after permanent teeth arrive, then speak with your child’s dentist.
VII. What should I do if my child injures his mouth and teeth?
- Be sure and ask your dentist when he or she would like to be contacted for a tooth injury.
- If a child knocks out a permanent tooth, keep it moist or drop it into cup of milk and call the dentist immediately or head to the ER.
- If a child is hit in the mouth–always call the dentist for an exam even if there is no obvious damage.
- If a child chips a tooth–call the dentist even if there is no sensitivity.
- Your child should use a mouth guard for sporting activities!
Start good dental habits early…find your child a dental office home where both you and your child are comfortable. Dental care should not be scary but just a part of good health. Take care of your child’s smile, it is one of the most beautiful things a parent sees!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Keep your child’s smile healthy and bright!
Image courtesy of American Dental Association
I can remember that feeling of excitement when I first saw the top of a little tooth poking through our oldest child’s gum….I must admit I remember the shock the first time I felt that tooth when I was nursing too!
(Remember, children can bite only if latched incorrectly, and that is usually when they are “playing” at the end of a nursing. Put your child down and say, “that hurts!” If you put your baby down every time he or she bites or you break the nursing latch when you realize your baby is no longer sucking to eat…there will be no problems. Just because your baby is teething or has teeth is not a reason in itself to wean from the breast!)
We have always known that care of those cute little teeth was important, but the recommendations in fluoride usage has changed over the years. How we care for our child’s teeth will affect his or her health. Those baby teeth ARE important! Dental decay is an active infection in a mouth…and we want to protect those little pearly whites for the best smiles now and down the road!
Dental decay is the most common chronic disease of childhood! 24 percent of children in the U. S. have a cavity before age four! 53 percent by age 8 and 56 percent by age 15. There has been a significant increase of dental decay in children in the 2-4 year old age group. So, what are parents supposed to do to protect our little ones’ precious smiles? There is a plan! http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2014/11/18/peds.2014-2984.full.pdf+html
- Brush with fluoridated toothpaste at the first sign of a tooth. (Yes you heard me correctly…that is a big change from several years ago. Past recommendation was to use “baby toothpaste” without fluoride until age 2!) Starting to brush teeth from moment one teaches a lifelong habit for your child. At a minimum, the recommendation is to brush twice daily, morning and night. The most important brushing is the nighttime one before bed. Parents should use a very small amount of fluoridated toothpaste (the size of a grain of rice) until age 3. (see picture above) After age 3, children and adults should use about a pea size amount of toothpaste. Parents should supervise tooth brushing until about age 8 when most children are proficient. It is not important to worry about what direction to brush on the tooth….just that all sides of the tooth and the gum line are brushed.
- Drink tap water! Many of us have become a bit of “water snobs” drinking only a certain brand of bottled water! Most bottled water does not have fluoride. Fluoridated water has been proven to prevent dental decay in children and adults! So fill up your child’s straw cup and get a glass for yourself too!
- Monitor sugar and sticky foods. We know that tooth decay increases when there is sugar on teeth for long periods of time. Children who drink sugared drinks (this includes juice!), sleep with bottles, or use a sippy cup with milk or juice in it all day are more prone to decay. Keep water in your child’s cup except at meals and stay away from a lot of sugared or sticky foods and treats.
- Prevent bacteria in the mouth. Tooth decay is caused by a bacteria called streptococcus mutans. Parents who have a history of poor dental health (lots of cavities) should be very cautious about sharing cups and cleaning those pacifiers in their own mouths! Transfer of that bacteria early on increases your child’s risk of early dental decay. Most importantly, parents should be sure that their own dental health is good…having active decay that is untreated increases the streptococcus mutans in your mouth increasing the likelihood your child’s mouth will colonize with it too. We want to be sure that the snuggles and kisses you give your child does not transfer bad bacteria…because those kisses are a necessity!!
- Find a dental home for your child. Your child should have a dental visit by age 1. Dentists are an important part of your child’s health care just like your child’s doctor! Make every 6 month visits to your child’s dentist to promote good dental health. If your child sees the dentist for preventative care, there may never be a need to develop a fear…there will be no cavities!
- Ask about fluoride varnish. Fluoride varnish is a sticky resin of highly concentrated fluoride. Your child can have two or more applications per year and it is very effective in preventing dental decay. Some pediatricians are applying this at well child visits, and often dentists are using this instead of the fluoride rinse or gel of the past. A child can eat right away after this application and it actually will stay on the teeth for a longer time and can help restore early decay.
So those are some of the best tips to prevent decay in your child’s teeth. The habits we form early in our child’s life will have long -lasting effects on their dental health and smiles in the future. Keep your child’s sweet smile bright!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
What is in your discipline “bag of tricks”?
What is in your discipline bag of tricks?
It was 7:30 am and my day was in full swing. I was chasing a two year old trying to get him dressed again. It is barely an hour into the day and I felt like I was on the verge of yelling and a time out before breakfast just didn’t seem right. Sound familiar? I am a big believer that spanking and yelling are not the best choices for discipline. I have taught 1,2,3 Magic for years….but sometimes you just need something else. Discipline is a parenting must. Children need guidelines, boundaries, expectations, consistency and consequences. I think parents really need a “bag of discipline tricks” to parent effectively. These “tricks” can help prevent physical punishment, increase cooperation, take away some of the No’s in your child’s life and quite honestly maybe bring a smile to you both. Here are a few “tricks” to keep in your repertoire….share a few of your own too!
This is my favorite discipline technique which is very effective when used consistently and according to the rules. Do not use it for everything….save it for behaviors you want to eliminate quickly.
- Remove your child from the conflict and give attention.
I know I always say that we should never give attention to a negative behavior, but if a child is acting inappropriately sometimes simply removing him from the conflict gently and bringing him to another activity of cooperation is effective. Example…You see your child grabbing toys from others and becoming aggressive, you walk up and take him by the hand and say “Come with me I need help getting snack ready.” You have just removed him from the behavior that is inappropriate, not used the word NO, and given positive attention for the cooperative activity. Usually works!
- Change your requests from “go” to “come”.
If you are trying to get your child to do something, approach from a cooperative view-point. Instead of “Go put your coat on.” Try “Come with me to put your coat on.” The tone totally changes and cooperation increases!
- Turn your no to a yes.
Telling a child “no” to a request will often result in a meltdown. When possible, change that “no” to “yes”. Example “I know you want to go outside, we can’t now but yes, we will after lunch.” “Let’s play with the water here in the sink, not the water in the dog’s bowl.” “Leave your shoes on now, we will take them off at home!”
- Try using the “not for” phrase.
“Hands are not for hitting they are for patting and loving.” “Trucks are not for throwing, they are for pushing.” “Food is not for throwing it is for eating.” Soon you may hear your child repeating those phrases to keep himself from the activity!
Nothing like a little humor to diffuse a situation! Try putting that jacket on your child’s leg, or hopping to bed, or singing a silly song. Once you both are smiling cooperation increases.
- Think Like A Toddler.
Why did your child just dump the dog food out again….or throw the ball in the house again…or dump a box of cereal out and stomp on them…??? Yelling “STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” just doesn’t work. A young child doesn’t think about why he is dumping dog food or stomping on cereal, he is thinking this is so fun! When you think like a child you will have more patience and will react a little calmer. Tell your child that the activity looks like so much fun…redirect to something appropriate and have them help you clean up! (as much as a 2 or 3 year old can!)
- Behavior charts and rewards.
Time In is as important as Time Out. What does that mean? Reward your child throughout the day with positive words, stickers, hugs, stories or other positive reinforcements for behavior you like. That positive attention increases that behavior and then allows your child to really FEEL the removal of that positive attention if you give a Time Out for unacceptable behavior. Sticker charts work well at age 2 and older. Younger toddlers…and even older children will often just love a sticker to wear or a stamp on their hand for positive behaviors. If you have ever been to a Gymboree class you know how important that stamp on the hand is! Get creative! I heard of a Mom sending her child to bed with a brown bag every night. If he did not get up, there was something in it in the morning! Ignore unacceptable or annoying behavior when you can and reinforce the positive. Rewards should not always be bought…rewards of time make the most impact.
- Use consistent words to help your child.
“No touch”, “Kind words”, “Good choices”, “Gentle touch”, “Walking feet”….think of a few of your own. The more often your child hears the same consistent phrase, the more likely he will comply with the behavior. A reminder that results in cooperation is better than a punishment after the fact.
- Substitute appropriate behavior.
“Let’s climb on the couch cushions not on the table.” “Let’s throw the ball, not the truck.” “Let’s sing a loud song instead of scream.” Simply saying “no” without an alternative will often result in a meltdown or defiance. Give an alternative to the behavior you don’t want, and make it a similar activity to gain cooperation. Often your child is working on a skill like climbing or throwing!
- Try playing a game to get your child to cooperate.
“Let’s play a pretend game when you get dressed. It is all pretend, but if you do what I say you will get to wear a sticker! Are you ready? OK, Connor let’s pretend….Put your shirt on please.” If he does it you respond, “Wow I can’t believe you could put your shirt on! Are you sure you haven’t played this game before?” Give a big hug and a sticker. Because it is a “game” your little one will be excited about trying it out. Soon it will become merely cooperation.
- Intervene early.
You know your child and their behavior. If you see the unacceptable behavior beginning….redirect early. Don’t let the hit, bite, or shove actually happen. As your child becomes aggressive step in and redirect.
- Be assertive but also a cheer leader.
Don’t be wishy-washy and ask “Would you want to pick up the toys?” or “I am thinking it might be time to pick up and leave.” Be assertive and tell your child what is going to happen so there is no question on who is in charge, then be cheerful and firm on what will happen next. Cheer your child on as they begin to cooperate. Giving the impression that there is a choice or a chance to negotiate when there isn’t always results in conflict.
- Redirect physically.
A child may need to be physically moved from an area to redirect. Sometimes your words will not work. A child who is becoming aggressive should be carried or walked to another activity quickly.
- Praise ten times more than you correct.
Yep, you heard me correctly. Praise effort and not outcome and praise a lot. That is what a Time In is. Time Out removes your attention….the rest of the day should be a Time IN. Time Outs will not work if your child doesn’t feel the difference of the removal of your attention.
- Calm Down Bottles.
Another tool to help your child learn to “flip the switch” to calm down on his own. That is the skill we want all of our children to develop!
- Have an older child determine his or her punishment.
An older preschooler, school age children and teens are very good at deciding what the consequence for their unacceptable behavior should be. Often they are tougher on themselves than you would be. The consequences they decide usually make sense and are remembered.
- Start over….over and over again.
Rewind. This was one of my favorite tools. If your child is just starting off on the wrong foot, or you see a behavior that is inappropriate and can be fixed immediately; simply turn your child in a circle and make a “rewind” sound and let your child try again. I love the second chance to make things right. Sometimes my husband will actually do this to me in the morning if I am grumpy before that morning coffee kicks in!
So, those are a few tricks to put in that discipline bag. Be sure you are taking care of yourself, because we all know that we aren’t able to tap into our patience or discipline approach if we are on empty ourselves. You and your child deserve parents who “fill themselves up” so they are at their best. As time goes on, you will find the discipline approaches that work the best for each of your children. No child’s day should be filled with more “no” than “yes”, more boundary setting than free play, or more tears than smiles. We all will have bad days, but the good moments should outnumber the difficult. Remember, the purpose of boundary setting and discipline is to teach….not to upset your child.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
The “how to” of the discipline process
Remember our mantra: “Attention is attention to a child whether it is negative or positive, attention to a behavior reinforces it!” And “Consistency is the key.”
A few pointers to start:
1. Set realistic guidelines. Know your child’s developmental stage. As a parent, you may want your child to share his toys with friends, sit still during church and say “please” and “thank you”, but you have to consider what’s age appropriate when it comes to behavior — and gauge your expectations accordingly. Do not discipline when the child is not able to comply because of age or development.
2. Be patient. Patience is the key. Often parents will complain that they have tried a discipline strategy and it didn’t work. Timeout was tried over and over again, but the behavior continued. Remember, it takes a while for your child to test to see if you really mean it, and then it takes a while for a child to gain control of the behavior. Children’s temperaments also play a role. Consistency is the key, say what you will do and then do what you say every single time.
3. Acknowledge your child’s feelings. When it comes to discipline, parents need to be warm but firm. Give your child the words to describe a feeling. “I know you are frustrated, but we don’t hit.” “I know you are angry with mommy” “I know you are sad.” Helping your child describe what he is feeling with words will eventually decrease the acting out. This also helps your child begin to develop empathy, he or she will know how others feel because they have felt it too.
4. Listen. As your child gets older, parents will need to listen to a child’s reasoning. It is fine to give an older child a chance to explain, and even accept the child’s explanation, but there should not be engagement in an argument. Arguing will not convince a child that as a parent you are right. You simply will say, “I know that you don’t understand now and are upset, but this is my decision.” Parents should never engage in an argument with young children; toddlers and preschool age children will never look at you and say “I understand Mom, I will go to time out!” 🙂
5. Model good behavior. To teach manners and socially acceptable behavior, most children will learn by modeling. When a child is prompted “Say thank you.” “Say I am sorry.” and the child sees the parent model the behavior, they will eventually incorporate those manners and behaviors. Do not force but help your child become socially acceptable. If your child will not say please, thank you or sorry, say it for the child. “Connor says “Please.” Modeling poor language, yelling, name calling etc. will result in a child behaving like you!
6. Give your child choices. Many times you can head off a conflict with choices. Giving choices often increases cooperation. When a child feels more control, they often will not act out as much. Choices about which outfit to wear, choices between two healthy foods, even give choices for non negotiable things like brushing teeth. “I know that you don’t like brushing teeth, but it is important, so would you like to brush your teeth now or after you put on your pjs?” Find every day choices for your child.
7. Know when to walk away. Temper tantrums are a child’s way of blowing off steam and communicating their frustration. They are a part of almost every child’s normal growth and development during the toddler years. Some children have more than others. If you respond to them then you validate that behavior; but if you ignore them you will see them gradually subside. If a child is totally out of control with a tantrum, sit next to your child, speak soothingly and place your hand on him gently. Touch will often calm. Do not pick up and comfort, this will again encourage the behavior. Tantrums often will occur when a child is hungry, tired, or has figured out that they work! Don’t engage with an older child if you feel like he is “pushing your buttons”. If you feel frustrated walk away until you can respond calmly. This won’t reinforce the behavior and teaches them appropriate behaviors to model.
8. Be creative and fun. Many times a child will be more cooperative and need less discipline if a parent “plays to gain cooperation”. For example, pretending to feed an animal the toys when you pick them up, racing the kitchen timer to get dressed, singing a brush your teeth song, …get silly, have fun, and watch your child cooperate!
- Remember effective discipline must remove the most valued thing from a child, your attention. Removing attention is much more effective than spanking or hand slapping which is a temporary fix.
The discipline technique I like is basically the “1, 2, 3 Magic” program developed by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan PhD. www.parentmagic.com This program has been used by countless schools and parents for many years. It is simple and effective, and can be used with a little modification clear until the teen years. Even during the teen years, the basic principles are effective. I teach this program with a few small changes, but this discipline process when used consistently will help with almost every discipline issue.
1,2,3 Magic
1. The parent calmly gives a warning with words and by holding up 1 finger. “No touching the dog food. That’s one.”
2. If the behavior stops great, if not the parent gives a 2nd warning by holding up 2 fingers and saying… “That’s two.”
3. If the behavior stops, great if not the parent holds up a third finger and calmly says, “That is 3, time out.” or “That is 3, take a break.” Your child then takes a time out. This time out should be in a specific place away from activity and toys. If your child is a toddler, it will need to be in a place where the child can still see you. If the child is older, the spot can be on a bottom step, in a chair in the other room, or when the child is about 4 or older, the bedroom is a good choice. The “break” should be about a minute a year. When the “break” is over, you act as if nothing had happened. There are no lectures, or lots of hugs and kisses. This must be done without emotion or many words! The more emotion and words that are used, the more attention has been given to the behavior. There should be one short explanation given to the child. There is no yelling, and no response to the continued complaining or a fit from the child. This is so important!! When a parent does not give a long explanation, does not get emotionally upset, and then follows through with an appropriate time out, the parental authority is unquestionable. If this is done consistently, the child will know exactly what to expect from a parent. Remember, consistency is the key!
Common questions:
- How long between counts?
Just long enough to give your child a chance to gain control of their behavior and respond. This does not meant “That is 1…1 1/2…Listen to Mommy!… 2…. Stop touching it! You don’t want to go to time out! 2 1/2 …please stop….2 3/4….I really mean it…..!! There is only a few seconds between counts and no extra words or warnings.
- What if there are several problem behaviors one right after the other?
You do not need to start a new count for each behavior. For example.. “No cookies now.” The child screams at you. “That’s 1.” The child runs and throws a toy. “That’s 2.” The child tries to take a cookie off the pantry shelf. “That is 3, time out.”
- What if the behavior is serious, like hitting?
There are several behaviors that you will determine are an automatic 3. In our house that was hitting, biting, shoving and name calling. Automatic time outs should occur for any behavior that is physical or aggressive.
- What if your child counts with you?
I promise if you use this system your child will at some point count with you or give you a 1, 2 or 3 time out! Try not to laugh. It is up to you on your response. You can ignore the counting completely. No words, no emotions. If you are able to do that, the behavior will stop. I could not, it was like nails on a chalk board when one of my children counted with me…so it was an automatic time out in our house. You decide!
- What do you do in public?
This is a very common time for children to push the limits, especially if you do not follow through when you are not at home. Always set your behavior expectations before getting out of the car. “I want you to hold Mommy’s hand when we are in the store.” If your child does act out in public, if you are consistent with the 1, 2, 3 Magic at home, often you can control your child’s behavior with just a 1 and a 2. If you get to 3, then you must find an appropriate time out place where you are. This could be leaving and going to the car, turning the shopping cart around in the grocery store away from you and ignoring, sitting your child on a chair in the center of the mall…or for a school aged child a delayed time out at home away from TV etc. Do not go back to lots of talking and emotion when you are out trying to avoid the time out when in public. If you are embarrassed and back down, then your child will quickly learn you will not follow through when you are out and about!
- What if the child will not stay in time out?
You must continue to bring the child back to the time out place with no emotion or talking. Your child will get it! The first couple of days may result in many trips back to the time out spot, but you must be consistent! For a young toddler you also may choose to remove the tray off the high chair, strap your child in, and turn the child away from you. This is a great way to teach time out in the beginning.
- What if your child will not come out of time out when it is over?
Do not try to persuade—just say “you can come out when you are ready!” If you give a lot of attention to this behavior “Come on now, it is all over. Come on out and play. Give Mommy a hug…..” This will result in this behavior again, and may even reinforce the behavior that led to the time out!
- What if my child yells at me and calls me a “mean mommy or daddy” or “I hate you!”?
I know that this will hurt…no parent likes to hear those words, but you must ignore the behavior! Your child doesn’t really know what the impact of these words are, he is just angry. You know that your child loves you and you love him, which is why you are disciplining! Remember if you respond with emotion and a lot of words, the behavior will happen again!
So those are the simple rules for this discipline approach. It does work…if the rules are followed. Soon your child will know what to expect if a behavior is inappropriate and your home will not be filled with spanking, yelling, and lots of arguing and emotional responses. It takes practice and it takes consistency. Be patient with yourself!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Childproofing 101
Staying ahead of kids in order to keep the house safe is no easy task….some days I would have been better off wrapping my four in bubble wrap!
New parents have so much to do! It seems the “to do” list is never-ending. At the top of every parent’s “to do” list should be child proofing. Keeping your precious little one safe is a #1 priority, and no simple task. Children are curious, quick, and smart! Just when you think that you have your child protected, you find your child standing in the center of the kitchen table swinging from the overhead light….or at least it seems that way! The truth is, accidents are the leading cause of injury and death in children. So many of these tragedies can be prevented with a little preparation. Child proofing is a MUST but, NOTHING replaces supervision. Child proofing slows a child down but does not totally prevent injury. Think about child proofing in layers….putting dangerous items in an upper cabinet and then latching the cabinet. We all know that any self-respecting toddler can push a chair over and reach that cabinet! Over the next few days, check back and we will go over a room by room check for child proofing and common mistakes that parents make!
General tips:
- Child proof ahead of your child! You never know the first time your child will roll over, begin to crawl, or pull up. Child proof before it is a must.
- Get on your child’ level to child proof. That’s right, crawl around and see what your child sees. You will be surprised at the number of dangers that lurk at your child’s eye level and not yours.
- Sign up to receive e-mail recall notifications at www.cpsc.gov New parents have so much baby equipment! It is hard to keep track of any recalls or safety notices. By signing up for e-mails on recalls you will be able to make sure your baby equipment is safe.
- Keep a notebook or spreadsheet with a list of all your baby equipment including serial numbers, and date and place of purchase. This is a quick reference guide for you to flip to when you receive a recall notice. Much easier than trying to find the numbers on your baby equipment and remember when and where you purchased it!
- Take a CPR class for parents! Local hospitals, the Red Cross, and other agencies offer CPR classes for parents. Sign up and be a prepared parent….knowledge is the key to peace of mind for you and protection for your child.
- Install outlet covers in every room. There are sliding outlet plates that replace your existing outlet plate and have a sliding “door” that slides to cover the outlet. These are less of a choking hazard.
- Remove rubber caps off of all door stoppers, they are choking hazards.
- Keep dangerous chemicals out of reach and locked up, provide a double layer of protection.
- Program the Poison Control phone number in your cell phone for quick use 1-800-222-1222.
- Use cabinet and drawer latches. There are many to choose from! Pick one that can be installed easily, there are adhesive mount latches for those areas that a parent may not want permanent mountings.
- Always use the safety belts in bouncy chairs, high chairs, swings…whenever there is one provided!
- Shorten or go cordless on curtain and blind cords.
- Know the names of the plants you have in the house, in case one is eaten! Put all plants out of your child’s reach.
- Install carbon monoxide detectors on every floor. Make sure there is one outside of bedrooms.
- Install smoke alarms in every bedroom and on every level of your home. Check the batteries every 6 months.
- Use corner bumpers on furniture with sharp edges.
- Install window guards for all windows above the first level of a home. Windows that can be opened more than 4 inches are dangerous.
- Secure all heavy furniture to the wall. Every year thousands of children are hurt when furniture is pulled over on them. Children pull out dresser drawers and use them as steps too. Keep the tops of furniture cleared of tempting items like toys, and knickknacks to deter a child from climbing up to reach them. This would include tall dressers, entertainment centers, book cases, and large screen televisions.
- Turn the water heater down to a maximum temperature of 120 degrees F.
- Keep lighters, matches and lit candles out of reach.
- Install gates at the top and bottom of stairways. Do not use pressure mounted gates at the top of stairs.
- Fire arms should be locked up with a trigger lock in place. Ammunition should be stored and locked separately from the fire arm. Do not keep fire arms loaded in the home. Teaching children about gun safety does NOT negate the need to lock up your guns. Children can’t be trusted around fire arms!
- Make a plan for fire evacuation. Talk with all members of the family and practice with a fire drill! Buy an escape ladder to store under your bed if you live in a two story home.
- Test homes built before 1978 for lead paint. For information about getting paint samples go to the National Lead Information Center’s website.
- Look for a safety store at your closest children’s hospital. These stores will sell child proofing products at cost and have safety experts there to answer questions. If you live in Indiana, the Riley Safety Store is available at several Indiana University Hospital sites. For more information visit RileyHospital.org, or call toll free 1-888-365-2022 or e-mail kids1st@iupui.edu.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
