Let’s talk toddler!
Kaitlyn was a typical toddler, she definitely had an opinion!
You wake up one day, and it is a whole new ball game. You now have a toddler. Toddlers are so much fun, but can also be a challenge. We are not used to our child having an opinion, and a toddler has one and often expresses it very loudly! Toddlers can be having a tantrum one minute and laughing the next!
Your toddler’s biggest developmental task is to start to develop independence. Your child will begin to separate from you at times, and be very clingy at other times. Every day and sometimes every minute,is a new adventure when you have a 1 to 3-year-old!
We know that toddlers are a bundle of energy. Everything is an adventure! Kitchen cupboards, knobs and buttons, computers, and even the drain in the tub is interesting. Toddlers are busy discovering and really don’t have time for naps and potty training, although both are important for toddlers! Toddlers are free little spirits and have very little self-control, which often results in your precious child throwing himself on the floor in a fit of frustration and anger. To better understand your toddler, there are a few principles of toddler psychology…..
- A toddler is developing creativity, independence, curiosity, and imagination. The whole world is open and exciting! Your child is not misbehaving when he smashes peas, climbs on the table, or puts his finger in a place it should not be, he is exploring. Exploration is developmentally appropriate for your toddler!
- A toddler has very little self-control and tolerance to frustration. Sometimes it is so frustrating that a puzzle piece will not fit, or he can’t climb on the counter, or you break up his cracker that he wanted whole! Because a toddler has very few words and a limited repertoire to handle frustration, the “logical” thing for him to do is melt down, kick, cry, and let his opinion be heard by all!
- Toddlers want attention. Attention is attention to a toddler, whether it is negative attention or positive attention. As parents, we need to limit our words of explanation to a toddler. A 2-year-old doesn’t really care if he will fall off the table, he just wants to climb on it. You will never convince him otherwise…there will be no moment of epiphany when he understands your safety talk! We must not reinforce behavior by giving extended attention to unwanted behavior. Give lots of positive words to positive behavior….very few words to negative behavior.
- Toddlers need predictability and routine. Your child will behave much better when there is a routine in place at home. The amount of frustration and the number of tantrums will decrease when you establish routines and rituals.
- Toddlers need some sense of control. Give your child true choices. “Do you want the bananas or the apple sauce?” “Do you want to wear this shirt or this one?” “Do you want to read your story before your bath or after?” Do not give choices when there are no true choice. Only ask a yes or no question if you are happy with the answer being “No!”
- Toddler temper tantrums are a result of frustration, being overly tired, being hungry and learning that they work!
Between 12 and 15 months your toddler should:
- Have tripled his or her birth weight.
- Start to combine syllables like saying Ma Ma and Da Da.
- Start walking alone.
- Bang two objects together.
- Like to read interactively.
- Follow one step directions.
- Begin to use spoon or fork.
- Begin to limit pacifier use to the crib only. Use during waking hours will limit speech.
- Like to explore.
- Begin to point. Respond by saying the name of the object he is pointing to.
- Take 1 to 2 naps a day and sleep 11 to 12 hours at night. Be sure to have a good bedtime routine.
By the end of the 18th month your toddler should:
- Be able to walk backwards, walk up steps, and kick a ball.
- Be able to say 10 to 25 words and name 3 body parts.
- Be able to turn pages in a book.
- Be able to stack 2 blocks.
- Play next to a playmate, but not with a playmate.
- Not be able to share! Sharing does not happen without parental guidance until about the end of the 3rd year.
- Attach to a “lovey” if one has been encouraged.
- Continue to love to explore.
- Take 1 nap a day and sleep 11 to 12 hours at night.
- Not separate easily. Separation anxiety peaks between 18 and 24 months.
- Know the difference between how Mom and Dad parent and play. Many will prefer one parent over the other at times. Toddlers cannot intentionally do things to hurt your feelings at this age. Connecting with one parent over the other may be because your toddler is learning male and female roles, may need more nurturing from mom or more physical play from dad. Roll with it!
By age 2 your toddler should:
- Be able to put on simple clothing with some help.
- Be able to stack 4 to 6 blocks.
- Be able to combine words into at least 2 word sentences at age 2. Your child should have a vocabulary of over 50 words and be 1/2 understandable by others.
- To follow two-step directions.
- Know his body parts.
- Continue parallel play with peers.
- Have 1 nap a day and 11-12 hours of sleep at night.
- MAY develop fears. Explain loud noises, show what things are, introduce new people slowly, read books about things he is afraid of, and let him handle objects that are causing fear.
- MAY continue to have separation anxiety. Do not leave without saying good-bye. If he cries when you leave, remind him you will be back. Leaving and coming back helps diminish separation anxiety.
During the 3rd year your toddler should:
- Dress himself.
- Stack 9-10 blocks.
- Walk up steps using alternating feet.
- Be able to jump, hop, walk on toes.
- Use his imagination for play.
- Have a large vocabulary and use 3-4 word sentences. Speech should be 3/4 understandable to others.
- Be able to tell stories, sing nursery rhymes.
- Be able to sort objects by shape and color.
- Be able to play cooperatively now and share and develop friendships.
- Show an interest in words, numbers, and letters. No need to force learning these, but plan activities around this interest. Show your child his name, write it out, point out letters on signs and in books, talk about colors, shapes, and point them out in your child’s world.
- Still sleep at least 11 hours at night and have 1 nap a day or an extended “rest time” without the TV.
Parenting activities for toddlers include:
- Toddler “field trips”. Bring your toddler to museums, parks, library story times, the post office, the grocery store, fire stations, apple orchards, and play groups.
- Play matching games, sorting games, shape and color games and puzzles.
- Read, read, read! Try to read 30 minutes a day broken into short time slots.
- Encourage crayons, finger paints, and clay to develop fine muscle control for writing. Writing on an easel or blackboard is easier for young children because larger muscles are used.
- Encourage water play, sand or dry rice play, filling and dumping.
- Play with puppets.
- Allow your child to feed himself, encourage use of utensils.
- Help to expand your toddler’s language by talking to him. Help him finish words and sentences. If he says “cup”, you can respond, “You want your blue cup with milk.”
- Play pretend with your toddler. Play kitchens, dolls, stuffed animals, trains, cars, dress up….
- Play follow the leader with your toddler.
- Encourage rhymes and songs.
- Play musical instruments with your toddler.
- Respond to wanted behaviors with positive words and ignore unwanted behaviors. Use time outs for behaviors like hitting, biting, and shoving.
At your child’s 18 month and 24 month well child visit, your physician should be screening for signs of autism. Red flags that a parent might see are:
- Your child repeats words but does not try to participate in conversations.
- Your child does not respond to his name when you say it.
- Your child does not make eye contact with you or others.
- Your child avoids social contact or physical touch.
- Your child has not developed speech or is losing words rather than building a vocabulary.
- Your child does not play with toys like his peers and does not use imaginative play.
- Your child seems to be under sensitive or overly sensitive to stimulations such as sound, touch, and texture.
Remember, if your child is reaching developmental milestones, no worries! Many times children will not be able to do something that is expected because they have never been encouraged or have never had the opportunity. Be sure to provide the opportunity for your toddler to reach milestones, even if it takes longer to allow your child to complete a task, or it is messy!! If your child is not reaching developmental milestones, contact your doctor, and refer to your state’s early intervention program. The earlier the intervention, the better the outcome.
Important links that will help you:
- “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” Campaign
This campaign educates parents about childhood development, including early warning signs of autism and other developmental disorders, and it encourages developmental screening and intervention. It will give you tips on how to determine if your child needs screening. - Overview of Early Intervention
Learn more about early intervention services from the National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities. Find out about your state’s early intervention program and how to access it. - Bright Futures
Bright Futures materials for families are available for parenting tips for children from birth to 21 years of age. This is provided by the American Academy of Pediatrics. - Developmental Surveillance and Screening Guidelines
This American Academy of Pediatrics website provides guidelines on surveillance and screening for developmental delays in children. - National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC)
NAEYC provides accreditation for early childhood programs and preschools that meet certain standards. You can search for an accredited program or preschool near you. NAEYC also provides resources, tools, and information for parents.
Toddlers can be exhausting, but exhilarating! Looking through your toddler’s eyes, you will learn to enjoy the small wonders of the world again. Tie up your running shoes, you have a busy toddler!
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
TGIF! It is Fun Friday, celebrate your week!
It is Friday, my favorite day of the week! A day that brings me “ahhh” moments as I breathe after a busy week. I am sure that you say, “Breathe?” “My Friday and Saturday is like my Monday!” Sometimes it can feel that way when you have small children at home. Every day you say the same things, “Don’t Touch!” Do the same things, fix the same food, change the same diapers, and wipe the same little noses. It is easy to slip into a routine of just being. It really is not much different when children are older…or at any point in life. Sometimes we just live without really living. So as is tradition, this morning I texted my 4 kids the traditional TGIF! The older 2 girls have had busy weeks of work, graduate school, and business travel to New York. The younger 2 have had busy weeks of college classes and study (I hope). But my TGIF is a reminder that it is “Fun Friday” at the Love house, and hopefully they will stop and enjoy today just because.
Since the kids were young, we have celebrated Friday. When I say celebrate, I mean that we hooped and hollered, had snacks, ate pizza, maybe even by candlelight, and I had a glass of wine. I am not sure how the celebration started, but I do know it has become a tradition. There is something about Friday that is fun! When the kids were very young, it was the expectation that the routine may change a bit on the weekend. Brad would be home, and there was more family time. As the kids got older, the anticipation of a couple of days without school and the school routine was exciting for all. Now Friday brings special flavored coffee saved only for Fridays, a slowdown from work, extra time with Brad and maybe even a few weekend plans. But Friday always includes a mini celebration.
The love of Friday soon brought “Over the Hump Wednesday”. Many times that was our night to grab a fast meal out, or I just reminded the kids with a note in their lunches that today was 1/2 way through the week to “Fun Friday”. There were weeks that we had Marvelous Monday, Terrific Tuesday, and Thrilling Thursday. I guess there were weeks we celebrated every day just because….
I think as parents you do have to celebrate “just because”. As you are raising a family, sometimes life can seem like every day is the same. As a Mommy and a Daddy, your life often is focused on the next diaper change, homework assignment, soccer practice, or music lesson. None of these activities are bad, but sometimes life becomes a whirlwind of activity with little time for enjoying the moment. Kids need to learn how to celebrate life and parents need the celebrations.
So even today I woke up with a little anticipation of a day that celebrates the start of the weekend. I hope my kids did too, and I hope that when they are raising families of their own they will celebrate “Fun Friday” in their homes too.
Break out the frozen pizza, maybe even pour yourself a glass of wine, light a candle…..it is “Fun Friday”.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Another New Milestone…the “Big Bed”!
If your little one has climbed out or attempted…it is time to transition to a “big bed”! Climbing out of a crib can be a dangerous feat!
It must be the season…lots of toddlers heading to their new “big boy” or “big girl” beds. I have had so many questions lately about how this transition should happen, and how do you keep them in their beds! Just when you think you have this sleeping thing figured out, your child becomes a toddler! Here are a few tips for transitioning to the “big bed”.
- Get excited about the move. Talk about the “big bed”. Transition all at once. Do not nap in the “big bed” and use the crib at night…just do it.
- Keep the same bedtime and nap time routine. Approach this transition as very matter of fact. It is usually a bigger deal for Mom and Dad than the toddler!
- Make sure that your child’s room is safe. You now do have to plan for your toddler to wander in his room. Be sure that all heavy furniture is bolted to the wall, there are no cords and outlets that could be a temptation, windows are closed and locked, and you might think about keeping the toys to a minimum. (they can be a big temptation, wouldn’t you rather play than sleep?)
- Side rails will be a parenting call. I don’t love them. If you have a toddler that has climbed out of a crib, then he certainly can climb over a side rail. Keep one side of the bed against a wall and keep furniture away from the other side in case your child rolls out. If your child falls out of bed, the fall is not far, he or she will be fine! Some parents will put a “swimming noodle” under the fitted sheet to help prevent their child from rolling out of the bed. Use of blankets, pillows, stuffed animals are all fine after your child is a year old.
- What is the perfect bed? Many cribs convert to a toddler bed…that is fine. Some parents are transitioning because number 2 is on the way. No worries, a twin bed or even a full bed is fine or how about a mattress on the floor!
- Complete your bedtime routine; be excited about the new bed, tell your child to call you when he or she wakes up. This may be all your child needs to hear! Two of my children called “I am awake!” for quite awhile after the transition! They never wandered out of bed!
- The first couple of nights you may have to sit next to the bed. Keep your hand on your child, no eye contact, sit in the dark. If your little one pops his or her head up, say one line “It is sleep time lay down.”, or something similar. No long explanations, not a lot of attention. A couple of nights later move your chair to the door. Same response if the little head pops up. Then move your chair to the hall and keep an eye on your child. Same response if your child tries to get out of bed. This should break the habit.
- Tell your child that you will “check on him” in a few minutes. Knowing that you will peek back into the room will sometimes keep your child from getting up “looking” for you.
- Do some chores near your child’s room until he or she is asleep. I used to fold clothes upstairs for a bit. Hearing you nearby helps with the separation anxiety so many toddlers struggle with when going to bed.
- If your child does pitter patter down the hall, walk your child back to bed with no words except “It is sleep time stay in bed”. Give no real attention, no anger. If it takes 20 times, do it. If you are consistent, the habit will be broken in about 3 nights.
- Give your child a couple of books or a special toy to bring to bed. Tell your child to “read” and this may help him or her fall asleep.
- There is nothing wrong with gating your child’s door, but if your child tries to climb over the gate, it is a safety issue. Do not lock your child in the room, that too is a safety issue.
- If your child is 2 or older, sometimes a sticker reward chart works well. A sticker in the morning or after nap if your child stays in bed. A reward of something fun that you will do with your child after a few days of stickers.
All these techniques will help your toddler learn to love his or her new “big bed”. Consistency is the key, and soon you will have a bit of quiet time during nap and in the evening. Your toddler learning to sleep on his or her own is an important life skill. Don’t start any habits that you cannot live with for a long time (like laying down with your child in bed). Every parent needs time to recharge and get a good night’s sleep without a toddler spread eagle in the middle of your bed! The “big bed” another milestone! For those of you who have transitioned…share your tips! Happy sleeping!
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Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
TGIF!!
Yes, TGIF! It is Fun Friday! Have you ever heard your child say ” but that’s how we always do it!”. Most of us have heard that statement and often we think, “Really? Always?” What our child is telling us is that what we have done in the past made an impact, it was something that was not only fun, but was important to our child. That is how family traditions and rituals begin. Creating your own special rituals now and faithfully repeating them throughout your child’s life will provide your child with a sense of security, stability, belonging and pride in his or her family. A ritual or tradition is never too simple….and a tradition does not have to revolve around a holiday. These rituals or family traditions that occur daily and weekly often are the glue of your family.
Well, it is “Fun Friday”, so pizza will probably make an appearance at the Love house, my kids will wait for the text or call proclaiming it is “Fun Friday” and we all will remember together the small things that connect us deeply.
So, what will be your ritual today? What are your plans for Friday or Saturday, or any other day for that matter? What memories do you want to create for your child that will endear him to your family? Share with a comment what has accidentally or accidentally on purpose glued your family together.
Put in the pizza, pour the glass of wine, light the candle…..maybe leave a post-it love note(did you know that Sept. 28th is National Love Note Day? Who knew?! Have a Happy Fun Friday, there are only 52 in a year! 🙂
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
TGIF!!!
Enjoy your Friday!!
My favorite day of the week is here again. I am looking forward to a “date night” tonight. Even with being an “empty nester”, a date night sounds exciting. It is nice to be out and concentrating only on each other and not the pile of laundry that still is sitting in my laundry room. Out of site, out of mind, right? I challenge you now to sit down and make 3 goals today for the next week. Think of 1 thing you can do for yourself to refill that pitcher, 1 thing to do for your children that might break up the regular routine of the week and make life more fun, and 1 thing to do for your partner to stay connected. These might be just small changes in your life. A sticky note here, a lunch surprise here, a candle at dinner, a half hour of reading…..simple ways to reconnect, refill, and enjoy the moment.
Tips on getting a little R and R during your week:
- When your child takes a nap, lie on the couch for just 10 minutes. Do not make a bee line to the computer or your list of chores or flip on the TV. Let your mind wander. Let your mind rest, staying “plugged in” doesn’t allow that to happen. Sometimes actually nap! 🙂 But you deserve at LEAST 10 minutes.
- Redefine what really needs to be done. Remember, your standards may have to be a bit different when you have young children. If you have hugged your child, everyone had at least one clean item to wear, there was something fairly healthy to eat in the house and you have “connected” with your partner for just a few minutes, your day was hugely successful!
- Be protective of your nighttime sleep. Go to bed early, keep the TV off, practice relaxation prior to bed, and turn the baby monitor down so that you hear only when your baby REALLY needs you and not just normal “baby” sounds. Remember, your baby WILL eventually sleep through the night, and you WILL hear your baby if your baby needs you.
Now, celebrate Friday. Remember, small celebrations make life much more interesting. Don’t allow another day to go by without celebrating SOMETHING…maybe just the fact that Friday is here.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Enjoy today……today
Time flies quickly…enjoy each moment.
It is a quiet morning…the oldest two are at work and the youngest two left to go back to college after the summer. I am appreciating the quiet because I am trying to enjoy each moment for the moment. But, I remember not too longer ago, sitting in this same kitchen thinking that it would never be quiet. Moments pass quickly. Some of the most satisfying moments in parenting we miss because we are looking past them to something we think is going to be better. Commit today to stopping and enjoying the moment, even if that moment is chaos. Tuck that moment away, write it down in a journal, but remember that moment so you can pull it out when your moments in life change.
I love my empty-nester life, and I loved my life with infants, toddlers, schoolagers, and teens. Take a moment to remember, and take a moment to enjoy now. Happy parenting TODAY.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Oh what a difference a year makes!
From one day to one year, what a difference a year makes!
The first few months of my children’s lives sometimes felt like a blur. Parents get VERY little sleep and are just trying to get to know their baby. I can remember feeling that the first year just flew by and all of a sudden I would have a toddler on my hands! There are so many changes that come so quickly with your baby that first year!
During that first year, your baby is learning that he or she will be loved and cared for. It is important to foster that development of trust. Don’t let your baby cry for long periods of time, especially in the first 6 months. Crying is your baby’s way of communicating. Soon you will learn what different cries mean, like “I’m tired”, “I’m hungry”, “I’m wet”, “I need to be held”, “I am bored”….Responding to your baby’s needs helps your little one develop trust in you and the world. You cannot spoil a baby! Older children can be spoiled, but not infants, so just enjoy catering to their needs and loving your baby.
Growth and development should be steady and progressive. That is more important than comparisons with other children. It is common for new parents to look at other babies and start to worry and compare. Try not to compare, just know what important milestones your baby should be reaching.
How big your baby is at birth is a poor predictor about the size of your child by adulthood. The size at birth has more to do with the conditions of uterine development. Most children will find their growth curve and stay at that curve. A child that is smaller than 75 percent of other babies his or her age can be perfectly healthy, that may just be the growth curve that child has. By the end of the 2nd year, the size of your child will more truly reflect his or her adult size.
We parents know that our children are special! However, reaching developmental milestones faster than other children does not necessarily predict your child’s intelligence. As long as your child is reaching his or her developmental milestones on target, there are no worries!
By the end of the 2nd month your baby should:
- Smile
- Look at you!
- Start to try to self soothe. May bring hands to mouth and suck
- Begin to smile at people
- Start to coo
- Turn towards sounds
- Follow things with eyes
- Pay attention to faces
- Hold up head and begin to push up during tummy time
Activities for parents:
- Talk to your baby
- Show simple objects
- Give your baby different looks at the world, change his or her scenery!
- Play the silly face game, open and close your eyes, stick out your tongue etc.
- Start the routine of a daily walk weather permitting
- Help baby with tracking objects, babies love mobiles, shapes and movements
- Imitate your baby’s sounds and expressions as your baby starts to learn to communicate
Your baby’s growth:
- Growth will be about an ounce per day in the first 2 months
- Growth will continue at about a pound a month after the first couple of months
- Birth weight doubles by 5 months
- Birth weight triples by one year
By the end of the 4th month your baby should:
- Like to play and interact with you!
- Copy some movements and even facial expressions like smiling
- Babble even with expression
- Cry in different ways for different needs like hunger, or being tired, or lonely
- Reach for a toy or rattle
- Track with eyes well side to side
- Be able to roll from tummy to back
- Push up on elbows during tummy time
- Like colors now and be drawn to them
Parent activities:
- Continue to talk, talk, talk
- Build reading into your daily routine
- Respond to your baby’s coos and babbles…carry on a conversation!
- Continue to show your baby the world!
By the end of the 6th month your baby should:
- Recognize a familiar face and begin to have some stranger anxiety
- Like to look at self in the mirror
- Use vowel sounds when babbling and takes turns in a “conversation” with you!
- Begin some consonant sounds when babbling
- Respond when you say his or her name
- Transfer things from hand to hand, easy to hold toys are important
- Try to get things that are out of reach
- Roll over in both directions
- Sit with support
- Like to “stand” with you holding and might bounce
- Start to push up and may rock back and forth on hands and knees
- Start to scoot and move arms like a swimmer
- Sometimes show frustration if he can’t reach something he wants
- Teething may begin with the average baby cutting their first tooth by the end of the 6th month
- Should start the “dropping game” between 7 and 8 months (helps your baby learn object permanence)
- Should begin clapping between 7 and 8 months
Parent activities:
- Remember stranger anxiety starts at about 6 months and peaks at about 9 months. This is normal. Help your baby by gradually introducing strangers. A stranger is someone your baby does not see everyday! Never force a situation quickly when your baby is afraid of a new face. Hold your baby, sit on the floor and let your baby explore with you holding him or staying near at first.
- Start to teach finger games like “so big”, waving “bye-bye”, playing patty cake
- Continue to read and talk to your baby
- Make sure you are establishing routines, especially bed time and nap time routines
By the end of the 9th month your baby should:
- Begin to have favorite toys
- Understand the word “no”
- Copy sounds you make and gestures you make
- Pick up small things with thumb and index finger “pincer grasp”
- Play peak a boo
- Look for hidden items
- Look where you point
- Sit well without support
- Start to scoot and crawl
- Start to pull up to stand between 9 and 12 months
Parent activities:
- Continue to play finger games like “Itsy Bitsy Spider”
- Continue waving bye-bye
- Build things for baby to crawl under and over
- Let your baby play with every day objects like pots, pans, plastic containers
- Encourage your baby to imitate your behavior like brushing hair, talking on the phone
- Encourage pretend play with keys, phones, dolls, chunky trucks etc.
- Play with pop up toys, a jack-in-the-box is a great way to teach object permanence
- Play in and out games
- Let your baby hold your fingers to walk
By the end of the 12th month your baby should:
- Point at items
- Pull up to stand and may walk
- Cruise around furniture
- Squat and stoop to pick up things
- Throw a ball
- Understand one step directions from you
- Turn pages of a toddler board book
- Look for missing objects in last seen location
- Say Ma Ma and Da Da and maybe a few other words like ball, dog
- Start to show fear, will cry when you leave
- “Help” get dressed by holding out arms etc.
- Put things in a container, takes things out, likes to dump items
Parent activities:
- Help baby with push toys, wide based push toys that children can walk behind are fun!
- Play games that the baby has a part in like puffing up your cheeks and letting her push the air out
- Look at books and make up stories about the pictures
- Teach body parts Where is your nose? Where is your tummy?
- Play with musical instruments that shake and bang
- Play music your baby loves to move and dance
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Helpful websites:
Thank goodness it is Friday!
I just texted my kids the traditional TGIF! It is “Fun Friday” at the Love house. Since the kids were young, we have celebrated Friday. When I say celebrate, I mean that we hooped and hollered, had snacks, ate pizza, maybe even by candlelight, and I had a glass of wine. I am not sure how the celebration started, but I do know it has become a tradition. There is something about Friday that is fun! When the kids were very young, it was the expectation that the routine may change a bit on the weekend. Brad would be home, and there was more family time. As the kids got older, the anticipation of a couple of days without school and the school routine was exciting for all.
Soon “Over the Hump Wednesday” began. Many times that was our night to grab a fast meal out, or I just reminded the kids with a note in their lunches that today was 1/2 way through the week to “Fun Friday”. There were weeks that we had Marvelous Monday, Terrific Tuesday, and Thrilling Thursday. I guess there were weeks we celebrated just because….
I think as parents you do have to celebrate “just because”. As you are raising a family, sometimes life can seem like every day is the same. As a Mommy and a Daddy, your life often is focused on the next diaper change, homework assignment, soccer practice, or music lesson. None of these activities are bad, but sometimes life becomes a whirlwind of activity with little time for enjoying the moment. Kids need to learn how to celebrate life and parents need the celebrations.
To this day, there is pizza at the Love house on Fridays and I wake up on Friday mornings with a little anticipation of a day that celebrates the start of the weekend. The kids do too…and I just bet when they are raising families of their own that they will celebrate “Fun Friday” in their homes too.
Break out the frozen pizza, maybe even pour yourself a glass of wine, light a candle…..it is “Fun Friday”.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Look at their sweet eyes, and hold onto the moments….
Those eyes just never change….enjoy every early morning AND every moment!
I just returned from my morning walk/run. What an incredible morning it is. The sun is shining, the air is a little cool and the sky is cloudless. As I was moving along on the trail, I saw a Mom pushing a stroller with her sweet toddler. The little girl was still in her pajamas, hair was definitely slept on, pacifier in her mouth, and a lovey by her side. I slowed down and waved to her with a cheery good morning…I looked into her little eyes which were bleary and not ready to be awake yet but there was a little half grin. A sweet moment for that Mom and little one….a great way to welcome the morning together.
As I returned home and entered the kitchen, I met my two college aged kids heading out for their work day. I keep telling them how lucky they are that they were able to find work this summer (I am not sure that they would call it lucky!) I looked at each of them, both a little quiet (or grumpy), hair definitely had been slept on, and my cheery good morning was met with a muffled response. I looked at their bleary eyes, just not ready to be awake yet and I suddenly had a flash back to those toddler mornings. Those mornings of sleepy toddlers that wandered down stairs in their pajamas with their loveys. I can remember being completely overwhelmed with love as I saw their little faces…even if it had been a rough night, the mornings were always sweet. As I looked into my kids’ eyes this morning, the same rush filled me, those eyes just don’t change. Enjoy the moments…parenting is wonderful.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
Vacation…make it a great one!
One of our family vacations…everyone is smiling! Wow…look at the outfit I have on…times change!
The plane has landed or the car has come to a stop…you have finally arrived at your destination! You want your family to enjoy every minute, so what is first? Remember how I said vacation is a mindset? Well that should be a parent’s mantra while on vacation, be in the vacation mindset. I know a lot of parents say to me, why would I want to pack up all of my child’s things, drive or fly several hours, and then do the exact same thing at my vacation destination as I do at home? My job does not change! While on vacation parents still change diapers, feed or nurse the baby, deal with tantrums, try to get naps in, and even plan meals and cook if they are staying in a place with a kitchenette! Yes, that is true, but you have a change of pace, a change of place, and undivided time together as a family. Family vacations ARE different from vacations as a couple, but they are moments in time that families treasure forever. So, get in the vacation mindset and enjoy being away, it is not about how much you DO but the time you spend together. Here are some tips to make that time away feel like a vacation!
Arrival:
- Wake a sleeping child a few minutes before arriving at your vacation destination. This will usually prevent a meltdown when you are transitioning from the car or the plane.
- Do not expect too much of your child (or yourself), especially the first day of vacation! Take a day to unwind, unpack, and breathe. Don’t jump right into “vacation fun” and lots of activities.
- Do not over schedule your vacation. Try just one big activity a day. That is about all your child and you can handle. Be sure to have down time. Plan a flexible itinerary. Be willing to cancel plans if your child is just not enjoying the activity.
- Try to keep your at home meal and sleep schedule as much as possible. Things change on vacation, but keeping a little routine prevents tantrums, over tired children and grumpy parents. However, a little later bedtime, a few more snacks, and a little more relaxed routine are part of vacation. One week will not change your home routine forever; it all can be adjusted back to “normal” once you are home again!
- Child proof where you are staying. Remember that you are not home, and there may be dangers in your home away from home. Bring painter’s tape and twist ties. Tape over outlets, tie up blind cords and electrical cords, put up any poisonous items, move sharp-edged coffee tables etc. Take a look under furniture and around on the floor to be sure no loose pills, change, or other choking hazards have been accidentally left by the cleaning crew! Wipe the phone and remote control with antibacterial wipes. If you are on an upper floor with a balcony, be sure that the door to the balcony has a child proof lock or block the door so little ones don’t wander out on the balcony without an adult.
- Put your night-light out so you can see to check on your children at night and/or your toddler or preschooler feels a little more comfortable in a different bed.
- Check out where the nearest ER is located. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but occasionally there is a split chin or an ill child on vacation. Much better to know where you are going BEFORE you need to know!
- Unpack and get settled. Make a list for your Target or Wal-mart run to pick up those extra diapers or food that you will need. You will feel like “vacationing” after you have what everyone needs.
- Take a deep breath and think about your days ahead, don’t dive into vacation overdrive!
Dining in or dining out
- If possible, having a kitchenette often makes life much easier when traveling with children. This allows you to keep your child on some sort of schedule and eating foods that are familiar.
- It is fun to eat out too! Be sure that your restaurant destinations are kid friendly and you are eating early. Not many young children can wait until late to eat without a meltdown! Hang out with the over 65 crowd and get those Early Bird Specials!
- Bring snacks and your bag of travel toys with you when you head to a restaurant. Even with an early arrival there is a wait time…bring your entertainment. Dinner and a show for your child
Tips for your child and you!
- Make sure that you bring your child’s lovey. He or she may need it more in a new environment.
- Start and end your day early. This is not about sleeping in or staying out late. Young children are at their best earlier in the day. Respect your baby’s inner clock will make the day better. Remember late afternoons should be quiet time.
- Stay close to home base-Your child’s mood may be more unpredictable than usual—so stay close to here you can return easily. Short jaunts away are less likely to tax your child’s patience.
- Schedule move time. Most toddlers need to be let loose, and infants need to be put on a blanket to stretch. New walkers and crawlers especially hate to be confined. Spend time every day at a park, playground, mall, any place you can let your child move.
- Expect the adjustment to take a few days. Toddlers and older infants will cling to you more than usual and may be fussier than normal. You are your child’s best security blanket.
- Trade off between parents. It is your vacation too! One morning Mom sleeps in, one morning Dad does. Allow each other to take a break and have alone time.
- If you are vacationing with family, ask for one night out. Go for a walk or an early dinner while the kids stay with family.
- Relax and enjoy the change in environment…different is good!
So enjoy that family vacation, document it with many pictures, and tuck those memories away. Some how it IS different when you are away, even if you are still changing diapers and dealing with fussiness. Those vacation memories will be treasured by you and your children. Enjoy.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Cindy
raisingkidswithlove 